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“Every time I mention how much Rebel has improved in her speech or her behavior, Tierney gets quiet and then goes off to do something else.” Miranda huffed out in frustration. “How am I supposed to suggest anything when she won’t even talk to me?”
“What would you ultimately like to have happen?”
“With Rebel?” Miranda asked.
Tori nodded, letting the silence carry Miranda through her thoughts.
“I don’t want to lose her.”
“How would you lose her?”
“If Tierney takes her away,” Miranda answered too quickly before taking a shuddering breath. “Or maybe worse, if Tierney keeps leaving without warning, keeps leaving for me to pick up the pieces, and I have to start from scratch every time, getting to know my niece over and over again, and having her resent me each time she’s stuck with me instead of her mother.”
“Oh, Miranda.” Tori’s heart shattered. “Is that what happened with you and Tierney?”
“What?” The skin between Miranda’s eyebrows crinkled, her confusion evident.
“Is that what happened when you had to take on the parental role for Tierney?” Tori pushed. That was really what the whole problem was, wasn’t it?
“I…” Miranda blinked at Tori and then slowly nodded. “I guess it is, yes.”
“Then I understand why you’re even more worried about what might happen with Rebel.” Tori ran her fingers up and down Miranda’s arm lightly, hoping that it added some comfort to this conversation. She knew it wasn’t easy, especially for someone like Miranda, but she hoped she at least knew that Tori would hold this information sacred.
“I don’t want her to be shuffled and shoved aside like Tierney was.” Miranda placed her mug back down carefully on to the counter. “I wasn’t good enough to be a stable presence for Tierney, but I can be for Rebel. I want to be.”
“Miranda,” Tori spoke and waited for Miranda to meet her eyes. This was going to be a hard point for Miranda to hear, and even harder for her to understand and take to heart. “Tierney wasn’t your responsibility.”
“She was,” Miranda interrupted, but Tori didn’t mind. She loved the fierce love and loyalty Miranda carried with her, even if her shoulders carried a far greater burden than she should have ever been asked to.
“She became your responsibility in a way, absolutely. But you need to stop blaming yourself, thinking you weren’t enough for her.” Tori cupped Miranda’s cheek and dragged her gaze back.
“I didn’t exactly raise a model citizen.”
“She’s lost, Miranda. She doesn’t know who to lean on, she doesn’t know how to be a parent, and that isn’t your fault. She needed her parents, not her big sister.” Tori trailed her thumb along Miranda’s cheek, the skin under her thumb pad soft.
Miranda fluttered her eyes shut, her face relaxing as she seemed to accept Tori’s statement. “I tried my best. But she won’t talk to me about things. She doesn’t see me as her sister.”
“Do you see her as your sister?” Tori asked. Her heart stammered a little as it revved up for a race. Was she overstepping her mark? She wondered how she might answer these questions if she didn’t know Miranda. The thoughts sped through her mind, and she relaxed. She would have found out these things, and she would have asked everything.
“Miranda?”
“I don’t know.” The honesty was raw and real.
“What would you say is the most important factor in all of this going forward?”
“Rebel.” Miranda didn’t hesitate, and it warmed Tori’s heart.
“Good. But can you make the hard decisions to ensure what’s best for Rebel? Even if that means losing Rebel or Tierney, or estranging yourself from the rest of the family?”
Miranda stared at Tori, face stony. All the ice she’d melted away in the last few months came rushing back, and she hardened in an instant. Tori’s back went up, and she regretted asking the question.
“All right, looks like time is up for today.” Tori grabbed Miranda’s now empty cup along with her own and quickly took them around the counter and placed them in the sink.
“What?” Miranda asked.
“Come here.” Tori opened up her arms, and after a beat, Miranda stepped into the embrace. Miranda buried her face in the nook of Tori’s neck, breathing in deeply. Her eyelids fluttered shut, and the ice that had come up to protect her before slid away slowly.
“Is this how you end all of your clients’ appointments?” Miranda hummed.
