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Alexis shakes her head, tears pooling in her eyes. “I—you were my first, Damian. And you tossed me aside like yesterday’s trash. Do you know how that made me feel? Unlovable. Unwanted.”
I wince. Truly, that wasn’t my intention, and now I feel like a gigantic asshole. Alexis has been through so much in her young life, and I just added another pile of shit to her already shitty self-esteem and self-worth.
A-plus fucking job, Damian.
“I’m sorry,” I say sincerely. “I’ve spent so long building walls around myself, shielding myself from any hint of weakness. I’ve never allowed myself to be so… exposed.”
Alexis’s expression remains guarded, her arms still crossed tightly across her chest.
“I know I hurt you,” I continue, feeling my stomach swirl. “And I do regret that. But I want you to know that I’m trying, that I will do better next time.”
If there’s a next time. This may have been the one and only time I’ll ever taste and feel Alexis Hartley.
Nodding to her treadmill, I stuff my hands in my pockets. This room feels too constricting. I’ve admitted way too much. I need to get the fuck out of here now.
“Enjoy your run,” I mutter and turn to leave.
Before I can move, Alexis seizes my arm and yanks me to her.
And her lips cover mine in a hungry kiss.
14
ALEXIS
Istand there, stunned by Damian’s words. An apology? From him? I never expected those words to come out of the Don’s mouth, especially directed at me.
My anger still simmers beneath the surface, but there is something in Damian’s tone, in the slight crease of his brow, that makes me believe he is sincere this time. It’s not at all like the fake, manipulative half-apologies I endured from the Carters, Emma, or even Mark over the years.
This apology is real. And he is going to leave me alone now, just like that. As a Mob Boss, he can do whatever he wants to me. But instead, he’s giving me the opportunity to be by myself. I’m not used to having that kind of autonomy. I’m used to others making those decisions for me.
But I saw his face when he grabbed me from the treadmill. He looked—scared, like he was worried something happened to me. That realization rattles something inside me. If he went to the trouble of finding me, doesn’t that mean he cares about me on some level?
I don’t know what comes over me. Maybe it is the longing for someone to finally treat me with true remorse. Maybe it is the realization that even powerful crime lords can have humble moments. Or maybe it’s just pure, unbridled emotion bubbling up from somewhere deep inside me.
Whatever the reason, I seize Damian’s arm, grab him by the lapels of his expensive suit, and pull him into a searing kiss. My heart pounds with a mix of anger, passion, and something else I can’t quite name.
To my horror, Damian pulls back, searching my eyes. “Alexis, what are you doing?”
I immediately feel a flush of embarrassment and panic. My cheeks burn, and I can barely meet his intense gaze. I had acted rashly, boldly kissing him without a second thought. But now reality is crashing down on me. What was I thinking, throwing myself at Damian like that?
Tears prick at the corner of my eyes as mortification sets in. Damian’s going to reject me, maybe even punish me for my forwardness. As a Mafia Don, he surely has his pick of any woman he wants. Why would he want me?
My heart pounds, anger and sadness swirling in my chest. No one wants me. I fight against the lump rising in my throat, blinking rapidly to keep the threatening tears at bay. I barely register Damian’s next words as humiliation roars in my ears.
Then his firm tone breaks through my spiraling thoughts. “Don’t get me wrong, I want you to continue…”
My head snaps up at that, eyes widening in disbelief. “But I need to make sure you’re okay with moving forward here.”
I’m stunned. Damian’s looking for my consent? I feel a warmth bloom in my chest at Damian’s consideration for my feelings.
“I have to be honest, though. For now, at least, I can’t do the tender after sex stuff. Cuddling, pillow talk, all that…” He shakes his head. “It’s not you, it’s me.” He winces. “Fuck, that sounds bad. What I’m trying to say is that I’m just not wired that way right now, and I don’t want you to get the wrong impression.”
To my surprise, I find this blunt admission from the normally uncompromising Don almost… endearing. I reach up and cup his jaw, tracing the stubble with my thumb. “I definitely want this, Damian. All of you, whatever that means right now.”
Relief flickers across his handsome features. Then a roguish grin spreads across his lips as he captures my mouth in another heated, hungry kiss. His powerful arms encircle my waist, pulling me flush against his body as the kiss deepens.
His large, callused hands grip my waist firmly as he walks us backward until my back hits the wall of the home gym. His muscular body presses against mine, the hard planes molding to my soft curves. I can feel his muscles, even through the expensive fabric of his suit.
