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Damian pauses at the door, his hand on the knob, and half-turns toward me. For just a moment, I see a fleeting glimpse of vulnerability behind his steel gaze before the wall goes back up.
“Not tonight,” he says, his voice low but firm. “Close the door after you get dressed.” Then he's gone, leaving me alone in the rumpled sheets.
As the door clicks shut, I’m left struggling to understand what just happened. Why had a simple cuddle been so unwelcome? Tears well up in my eyes, and I bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them as sobs start to rack my body.
“What’s wrong with me?” I whisper to no one. No matter how much I bend and mold myself to be acceptable, it’s never enough.
Except for my mother, the one person in my life who loved me unconditionally—flaws and all—until she was taken from me. My mother’s warmth and acceptance kept me from feeling unlovable.
As my body shakes with sobs, I feel an aching loneliness fill my very core. With no family, no true love, I am adrift with the resounding belief that some inherent flaw lying deep within me prevents anyone from ever fully loving me.
In that darkness, the spark of self-worth my mother had kindled feels like it is calling out its last feeble, flickering gasp. Each emotional abandonment presses in, leaving me feeling more unlovable than ever before.
12
DAMIAN
Isit hunched over my desk, the stacks of documents and files completely forgotten. My mind is elsewhere, replaying the events from a few weeks ago, over and over again.
The memory of Alexis’s bare skin against mine, the softness of her lips, the way she had trembled with desire in my arms—it is all seared into my brain. I can still smell the faint traces of her perfume that seems to linger in my office.
And then I remember the cold, harsh reality of what I had done. How I had abruptly pulled away from her warmth with a bullshit excuse about needing to attend to business. The confused and hurt look on her beautiful face as I retreated.
Guilt twists in my gut. I had let my own cowardice and fear of vulnerability take over in that moment. Now, Alexis is shutting me out, refusing to speak to me, and she avoids me completely. Not that I could blame her after the way I treated her.
I wearily scrub a hand over my face. As a powerful Don, I am accustomed to always being in control, never allowing emotions to rule me. But Alexis has a way of getting under my skin, stripping away every calculated layer of bravado I show the world.
I have to make this right. I have to find a way to explain myself without the usual lies and deception. If I don’t, I know I’ll lose her, and that makes me feel hollower than ever.
The door to my office swings open, interrupting my brooding thoughts. I look up to see Uncle Vinny striding in, a gruff but warm smile spreading across his weathered face.
“There’s my boy,” Uncle Vinny booms, his voice rasping slightly from too many years of cigarette smoke. He pulls me up from my chair and envelopes me in a tight embrace.
Despite his burly frame and imposing demeanor, I feel a surge of affection for my uncle. After my parents and little sister were brutally murdered years ago, Uncle Vinny has been the closest thing to a father, despite the little hiccup of his trying to take over as the head of the Iacopelli Family. He’s the last tie to my father, a man I idolized like no other.
As Uncle Vinny releases me, I manage a ghost of a smile. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Uncle?”
Uncle Vinny’s expression turns more serious as he takes the seat across from my desk. “Any leads on the Hartley girl’s whereabouts?”
A knot forms in my stomach at the mention of Alexis. Right, I’m supposed to be hunting her down. I wonder what color Uncle Vinny’s face would turn if he knew Alexis Hartley is only a floor above us?
Normally, I would have told Uncle Vinny that we have her, but since Vinny brought Mario to me and has been encouraging me to help in the search, it’s best that Uncle Vinny knows nothing.
“No updates to report, I’m afraid,” I lie smoothly, keeping my face an inscrutable mask. “My guys are combing every inch of the city, but she’s proving a slippery one so far.”
Uncle Vinny scowls, an ugly look coming over his face. “Goddammit. It’s crucial that we get our hands on Alexis Hartley soon, Damian,” he growls, his expression hardening. “Mario is breathing down my neck about it.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t understand the significance, Uncle. Why is this one girl so damn important? Seems like we could find another target to sell. There’s no shortage of options prowling the streets after dark.”
I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips. Uncle Vinny’s eyes flash with a rare burst of anger and he slams a meaty fist on my desk, making everything rattle. “Don’t question it, boy!” Vinny snaps, his gravelly voice rising in volume. “We need Alexis Hartley specifically. No substitutions. Mario’s orders.”
I recoil slightly at my uncle’s vehement reaction. It’s unlike the normally even-keeled Vinny to lose his cool like this. Clearly, there are larger machinations at play that I’m not privy to.
Does that piss me off? Sure. But I know when it’s appropriate to ask questions and when to keep my mouth shut, and this is one of those times.
Holding my hands up in a placating gesture, I slowly nod. “You’re right, Uncle. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. We’ll redouble our efforts to locate her immediately.”
My mind races over this new revelation. What makes Alexis Hartley so goddamn special? And who is she to The Brotherhood that Mario himself has such a vested interest?
