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It’s been two months of Felicia and I living together and although I was skeptical about all of this, I’m glad she’s here with me. We've been able to bond more, spend more time together, and plan our lives around this baby we’re having.
I'm upset about how things have ended up between Jeppie and I, but what can I do? He has the right to be angry with me. I broke his trust and hid something serious from him. I can honestly say though, my love for Felicia made it all worth it.
I can’t help the way I feel for her. I know sometimes I'm a bit standoffish and in my head with this whole thing, but I think that’s normal. I lost my best friend of twenty years, of course I'll be some kind of emotional.
“Why the long face, handsome?”
A lone woman sits next to me at the poker table and tosses in some chips. She's a beautiful woman. Looks to be my age or close to it. Not beautiful enough to make me forget that I have a pregnant girlfriend at home waiting for me to return. I don’t think any woman could make me forget that.
“Life,” I say, downing the last of my drink before ordering another. “There’s a lot going on, but with time, hopefully things will get better.”
“Ahh, it can’t be that bad,” she smiles. “A handsome man like you; rich, good looking, what could be so bad in your life?”
I chuckle and shake my head at the woman. If only she knew the trouble I was in with Jeppie, she may have a change of heart about me.
“How does that old saying go?” I ask, trying to sound mysterious. “Money is the root of all evil.”
She lifts her glass of champagne and gives me a toast. Judging by the amount of chips she’s thrown down, I'd say she knows exactly what I'm feeling tonight. Money doesn’t buy happiness. It simply aids in finding out what doesn't truly matter.
“I didn’t catch your name,” she says.
“Marc.” I reply. “Yours?”
“Rudy,” she nods.
Our game continues and although I feel like Rudy might be trying to flirt with me, I can’t stop thinking about Felicia. We're going to be having a baby before I know it. It's both nerve wrecking and exciting all at the same time. I can’t wait to see how her body changes as she gets further along. She's already gorgeous, but with a baby in her belly, I'm sure she’ll only get prettier.
“You’re not too good at poker, are you?” Rudy chuckles. “Either that, or something really has you distracted from the game tonight.”
“It might be a bit of both,” I laugh. “Poker is more of my best friend’s thing. He's the one who got me started. I'm also deep in thought about a lot right now.”
Just as the words leave my lips, Jeppie takes a seat at the other side of the table. We lock eyes briefly before he looks away and calls the dealer for a hand, and my heart pounds like a judge's gavel on his wooden clank.
“Shit.”
I speak under my breath and call for another drink. I think briefly about leaving the table and going home for the night, but for some reason, I can’t get up. I feel like he and I have a lot of unfinished business, a lot of unspoken words that need to be said. So, I stay.
“Chips in!” the dealer calls. “Jep, your play.”
Jeppie plays his hand as he normally does without speaking a single word to anyone at the table. He barely even looks up from his cards. He doesn't look depressed or angry at all. He’s got the clearest poker face I've ever seen him have.
I try to read him while playing, but I can’t sniff out a single emotion on him. It almost looks like he has an underlying smirk, like he’s silently taunting me and daring me to say anything to him.
“Wow, the newcomer didn’t come to play lightly,” Rudy says. “He must be that best friend you were talking about.”
“Ironically, he is,” I say, trying to make eye contact with Jeppie.
“Ex-best friend,” He finally speaks. “And that’s right, I never come to play lightly. So, get your chips ready if you're serious about the game.”
I almost crack a smile because I think his words are an invitation to have a conversation with him. But when I look at him and he doesn't look back at me, I know he doesn't want to talk. He's just chiming in because Rudy mentioned him.
“What do you mean, ex-best friend?” she asks. “The way my new friend here talks about you, sounds like you two are brothers more than anything.”
“Brothers?” Jeppie scoffs and takes a long gulp from his glass. “Brothers don’t betray each other’s trust the way he has mine.”
I lower my head in shame and pray this conversation doesn't happen here at the table. We've all been drinking tonight and now isn’t the time for Jeppie and me to hash things out. Not this way. I’d love nothing more than to give him the clarity he deserves, but he’s making it harder than I ever thought it would be. If only he knew how much I truly love his daughter, maybe he’d feel differently about this. Or at least be willing to see things from my point of view. That's all I can really ask of him.
"Could we maybe talk outside, Jep?” I ask, keeping my tone light and friendly. “This is kind of a family matter, and there’s a lot I'd like to say, or apologize for. I know I can’t take back what I did, but at least let me explain.”
