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I just landed in New York. I know you don’t want to ever see me again, but please, please can we meet? It's important. My life is at stake here and I don't know where else to turn. I won’t leave until you talk to me.
Am I in a dream right now? I know there’s a lot going on between me and Marc at the moment, but have I completely gone mad and lost my sense of reality? This email from Sean doesn't seem real at all. Either it’s not reality I'm living in currently, or he’s got some balls on him to fly all the way to New York just to talk to me.
There's a dozen more emails from him that I haven’t read yet. Since I've been here, checking my emails has been the least of my concerns. What's on my mind right now is Marc. Have I overreacted and pushed him away?
I didn’t mean for him to get the impression that I was pushing for a full blown relationship with him already. I'm still getting over my relationship with Sean, if we’re being honest. I don’t plan on telling my father anything about us, I just don’t like the fact that he talks about keeping us a secret like it’s a bad thing.
Maybe he thinks because I'm a lot younger than him that I can’t hold water or that I don’t realize the importance of moving at a slower pace? I understand his friendship with my father is important to him and I would never do anything to jeopardize that. But I have feelings too.
I know you've read at least one of my emails. Your read-receipts are on. I'm not leaving until you talk to me and if I have to show up everywhere you might be, I won’t stop until you at least hear me out.
If Sean shows up at my father's house, that will be a terrible idea for him. As much as my dad hates the very thought of him, he may catch the beating of a lifetime if he shows up unwarranted. The old Jeppster may be a lot older than Sean, but I don’t doubt he can still throw a solid punch.
What are you doing here, Sean? I thought I made it very clear that we’re done. There's no getting back together or making things right this time. I'm done for good. I gave you chance after chance. I'm done. I have no desire to speak to you. I've moved on.
I reply and wait for his response. While I wait, I take the liberty of reading the other messages to see why his life is possibly at stake and wow. Nothing he does or says ever fails to amaze me. He's gotten himself into some deep shit this time around and sadly, I'm interested in learning how he plans to get himself out of it.
I decided to meet with him at a small diner in town. I'm hungry and could use a good source of entertainment to go along with my burger and fries, and what better circus act to watch than Sean? I don’t normally find humor in the bad things people are going through, but he deserves every mishap happening to him right now. He made the bed, now he has to lie in it.
I start rethinking my decision the minute I see him walk in. I can’t pretend that he isn’t a good looking guy and that I didn’t love him at one point. But I have to remember what he did to me and to our relationship.
“Hey, Felicia.”
He greets me with flowers and tries to give me a hug, but I don’t accept either of his gestures.
“How are you?” he asks, proceeding to take a seat.
“What’s this about, Sean?” I ask. “We can skip the small talk and get right down to business. I don’t have all day.”
He looks stunned by my approach. I'm not sure why when I've made it abundantly clear by now that I have no desire in being friendly. Sean and I are way past being friendly. He may want to reconcile and give us another chance, but that ship has sailed.
“Well,” he sighs. “I’m in some deep shit. I know coming here was a stretch, but I have nowhere else to turn.”
“Per usual,” I roll my eyes.
“Seriously, Felicia. I owe some people a lot of money and if I don’t get it by the end of the week, there’s no telling what they’ll do to me. The relationship I thought I was building failed after you walked in on us, so now I don’t even have a place to live at the moment.” He sighs and shakes his head while staring down at my plate of food. “Life is just fucked up right now. I thought I might be able to ask you to borrow the money until I get back on my feet, but I can already tell that’s not going to happen. So, I guess it was a waste of time to come all the way here.”
I can’t believe the audacity he has. Sure, his story sounds like a sad one that would have anyone nervous to even walk around freely, but Sean is no longer a concern of mine. He has to figure out his own shit this time.
“I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such a tough time,” I say, trying not to snicker. “But you are absolutely right, I won’t be lending you any more money. You still owe me money from all the other times I lent you money.”
“Damnit, Felicia!” He shouts out and bangs his fists down on the table, but quickly quiets down when people turn to look at us. “I know, alright, I fucked up. I was a terrible boyfriend to you and an even more terrible fiancé. But this is my life we’re talking about here.”
I can’t believe he actually has the nerve to ask me for money again. After all he’s put me through, he can honestly look me in the eyes and ask me for another red cent.
“It's so crazy to me,” I say, leaning toward him. “You can come all the way here to ask me, the girl you cheated on, to help you make things right with your debt but couldn’t do a single thing right for our relationship. It's borderline insane at this point.”
He looks pitiful; sitting there in a flimsy jacket, his hair needs a good cut, his face needs a shave, and he looks like he hasn’t eaten anything in days. Weeks even. There was a time in my life where I would have given him the shirt off my back, the food off my plate to save him. But now, I have no desire to.
“It was a mistake to come here,” he says, leaning back in his seat. “I guess since you’ve come to New York things have changed for us. You're completely moved on and done for good. I get it now.”
I don’t notice Marc heading in our direction because I'm too focused on reading the sadness on Sean’s face. It isn’t until Sean looks up at him that I realize he’s standing next to our table. They're glaring at each other as if they can already sense the other’s nature. Shit. What a stand-off.
“Hey Felicia,” Marc says. “Missed you at the office today.”
“Hi Marc,” I say. “I took the day off to clear my head. I'll be back tomorrow.”
“Great,” he forces a smile before looking at Sean again. “Who’s your friend?”
