AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My eyes burn hot, prickling. I draw in a shaking breath. “Okay. Right.” I don’t know where to look. “Thanks. For being there for her.”
“Not a problem,” Dr. Rakin answers. “I heard about the win. Excellent job, Gray.”
I could give a shit about the win right now. Ivy is in the other room. Waiting. I’m fucking wobble-kneed and ready to bawl. The sense of loss guts me. I don’t know what to do with that emotion now, or how to even handle it. Rakin is saying something about Ivy seeing her OB when she gets home. I nod, but my gaze turns to Mackenzie. He’s been silent this whole time.
He’s looking at me now, those thick black brows of his slanting over his eyes. I want to apologize to him.
But he speaks first. “I’m sorry, son.” He comes closer to me, and I suck in a sharp breath through my nostrils. His big hand lands on my shoulder. “I really am.”
“Yeah,” I croak. “Me too.” I turn my attention to the closed bedroom door, and move toward it but stop and look at Mackenzie. “I know you’re Ivy’s father, but don’t ever keep something like this from me again.”
He knows I mean it. I let him see the rage and fear I’d felt when I learned Ivy was hurting and I wasn’t there for her.
Mackenzie gives me a tight nod. “Never again.”
Chapter 35
Gray
Opening the door is hard. I don’t want her to see me cry. I need to be strong for her.
Yet my throat is working like a bellows, opening and closing. I take another breath and go inside.
She’s in the center of the bed, curled up against the pillows, and wearing one of my team shirts. She looks fragile, defeated, her brown eyes huge in the oval of her pale face. My heart bleeds for her, a physical ache that has me leaning against the door frame.
She meets my eyes, and her lower lip wobbles. I think mine does too.
“Hey,” I whisper.
“Hey,” she gets out. And then bursts into choking tears.
Instantly, I go to her, toeing off my shoes as I move. My jeans come off next. Only then do I notice Fi sitting next to Ivy. She rises, leaving us, as I make it to Ivy’s side.
Without pause, I push aside the pillows and slide in behind Ivy. I’ll be her pillow now. My legs ease around hers. As gently as I can, I scoop Ivy up and settle her in my lap, drawing the covers up high over us.
I rock her as she cries, my face burrowed into the crook of her neck so she can’t see my tears. It takes me a moment to realize she’s saying “I’m sorry” over and over. My hands shake as I stroke her back, trying to calm her.
When she relaxes a little, I lean us back against the headboard. “Why are you sorry?”
Ivy’s huge eyes find mine. “It’s my fault.”
I smooth her bangs back from her forehead. “How?”
“Gray...” Her fist clenches my shirt. “I...” She starts to cry again, a quiet roll of tears. “When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want it. I was afraid, angry. What if...? I thought those horrible things...”
A sob leaves her.
I hug her close. “You’re fucking human. That’s all. You didn’t make this happen. It just wasn’t the right time, honey.”
But she isn’t listening. “And then I lost—And I feel so guilty. So...sad. It hurts, Gray.”
“I know.” I cup her head to my chest. “I know it does.”
“I didn’t want this to happen. No matter what I thought, I didn’t want this.” She sounds so broken, it kills me.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I should have been here. I should have been here.”
“You were playing your game.” Her voice is small against my skin. Guilty. “I told them not to get you.”
