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“The thing is, when I saw you in the dream, walking away from me like we never were and never would be...” He goes pale. “It tore me in half, Anna.”
“Drew, no...” I cup his cheek with my free hand.
He leans into it a little as he keeps talking. “I felt so empty. Even when I woke up. Like I’d never experience happiness again.”
“I’m here,” I say softly. “I’m here.” I hate that he’s felt that sinking empty pain again.
“That’s the point, baby,” he answers. “Ending my college football career the way I did? Facing the idea that eventually an injury might end everything one day? Yeah, it’s doing a number on me. It scares the shit out of me. Football made me what I am. But I’ll have to deal with it regardless. No one plays ball forever. And at the end of the day, when the game is over?” His golden eyes hold mine. “I’d rather have no football and feel whole with you than play and feel empty and at sea like before.”
“Drew.” I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him hard. And he hugs me back, his breath warm against my cheek as he nuzzles it, breathing me in like he always does.
I press my lips against his temple. “You’re wrong about one thing. Football doesn’t make you. You make football.”
He grunts in wry disagreement, and I shake my head, brushing my lips over his ear. “Anyone can pick up a ball and throw it. But you? You turn the act into something magical. Something wonderful.”
A sigh escapes him. The sound is equal parts sadness and relief. I hold him tighter, kiss his jaw.
“It’s you, baby. Your light. Your joy. Your soul. You bring that to everything you touch. To the game, your friends, me. It won’t end with football, I promise.”
“Anna.” He drags me across the armrest and into his lap to bury his face in the crook of my neck. “I love you so much. It’s like my life truly started when you walked into it. I want what my parents had, Anna. I want it with you and only you.”
He strokes my hair, his breath a burst of heat against my skin. “I’m going in there today to get my shit together for me, and for us.”
“Drew.” I kiss his cheek, his mouth, his nose, slowly softly, and he lets me, closing his eyes as if each touch is a balm.
Cupping his jaw with my hands, I press my forehead to his. “You are the best man I’ve ever known. You helped me become the person I’ve always wanted to be. You’re everything, Drew.” My breath leaves in a huff of frustration. “I don’t even know how to tell you how much you mean to me.”
He smiles as he kisses me, a gentle easy kiss, as if he’s finally breathing free. “Just be with me and I’ll know. Just be with me.”
How could I not? He is part of me now. “Always.”
epilogue
Anna
Two Years Later...
It’s Sunday night and I’m bathed in brilliant white light. The air is crisp and fills my lungs with a sweet burn as I take in the scents of fried food, beer, and human sweat. Electricity buzzes around me, created by the joy and cheers of eighty thousand people. This is high theater. It’s human drama, and we’re all riveted to the twenty-two men on the emerald green field.
But my attention is drawn only to one. His helmet obscures his face but he’s still gorgeous to me. Tall and strong, he is poetry and grace in motion. He owns the ball. He throws and it listens.
And I’m so excited I barely can keep still.
“Keep bouncing around like that,” says a voice in my ear, “and you’ll fall out of your seat.”
Gray laughs as he says it, and I can’t help but grin. He’s flown in from San Francisco, where he was drafted to play, to be here.
“He’s blowing it up, Gray.”
“Yeah, he is,” Gray says with his own grin.
Two years of working toward this moment. Rehab, the fear of not getting signed, then trying to fit in as a rookie, and tonight Drew finally gets his chance to start, filling in for the team’s injured starting quarterback.
As if he’s been waiting for it, he explodes out of the gate. He’s born for this, and his team knows it. They respond to his confidence, playing with precision and verve. Already they’re up three touchdowns against the better team.
And though he’d once insisted it was okay if he never played again, I know what this means to him. Tears blur my vision as I scream his name, my voice lost among the many.
“Everything is going to change,” Gray warns me, though he doesn’t really look worried.
