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“You heard me.” His tone is cautious, as if he’s waiting for me to run away but hoping I won’t.
Tears blur my vision. My body feels like lead. I sag in his arms and slump against his chest. Gently, he lifts me up a bit until he can see me.
“Hey.” He thumbs away a tear. “I didn’t tell you to upset you. I told you because holding it back is too hard.” He leans in until our breaths mingle. “I want to tell you every day.”
Drew pauses and vulnerability tightens the corners of his eyes.
“And you need to know what this is for me, because I wasn’t clear before.” Deep gold eyes hold mine. He’s leaving himself wide open, revealing his soul. “You have my heart, Anna. And every time I had to walk away from you, every time you walked away from me, it felt like it was being ripped out of my chest. It fucking hurt, Anna.”
His confession mirrors my feelings so closely that a fresh wave of hot tears well in my eyes. “It hurt me too. So much. I felt so empty I couldn’t stand up straight.”
Drew’s dark brows furrow. “Why didn’t you—”
“I was afraid. Shit.” I take an unsteady breath, feeling sick. “You shine so brightly, Drew. And it’s beautiful to me, but I didn’t know how to live under your light.”
He frowns, his expression growing fierce. But his words are low, strong. “What people see? That is only gloss. But, Anna, you light me up. Drew. Not the player. You didn’t know how to live under my light? I don’t have a light anymore unless you’re there.”
“Drew.” With a trembling hand, I stroke his neck then rest my palm in the center of his chest. “I’m not...”
I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want to admit my weaknesses out loud. But this is Drew, and I trust him. More importantly, he deserves to know. I open my eyes and face him.
And he’s watching me, uncertain now, likely hurting again, because of me and my fucking issues.
“I never went to prom,” I blurt out. “I was never asked on a date, guys never even looked at me in high school.”
His expression shifts from shock to confusion to an understanding that makes my insides pitch. My fingers curl against the dense rise of his pecs as I forge on.
“No one really liked me. I was the weird girl. The sullen one they wanted to pretend didn’t exist.” I snort, an ugly, pained sound. “Or maybe they really didn’t know I existed.”
I shrug, not wanting to meet his eyes, but I do. “Mom called me a late bloomer. Which means dick-all when you’re sixteen and dying inside.”
Viciously, I wipe at my eyes. “And you...” My voice cracks before I can bring it under control. “When I say you shine, I mean just that. You’re the sun around which people orbit. If you had been in my school, you’d have been the one everyone looked toward to lead. You never would have seen me hiding in the shadows.”
“Anna...” His voice is so gentle it sets my teeth on edge.
“No. Just...let me finish.”
He gives an awkward nod.
“I know it wasn’t fair to treat you the way I did,” I say. “Or to put you in some category that I created due to bad experience and old teen angst. But it’s hard, Drew.”
My mouth trembles, I bite down on my lip. “It’s hard nullifying all of that, because it came back every time you paid attention to me in public and people stared. When they’d ask why you’re with me.”
“I don’t give a shit what people think,” he cuts in on a rasp. “Only what you think.”
My chin drops. I can’t look at him anymore. “Don’t you understand? I felt like an impostor. I kept waiting for you to realize that you’d got it wrong. That I was the girl you were never supposed to see.”
“Not possible,” he says with quiet fierceness.
“But—”
“Anna, baby, you would never be the girl I didn’t see, whether we had met now or in high school.” He pulls me in close, rubbing his nose along the tip of mine. “Don’t you understand? I know you wouldn’t be because, since the moment I laid eyes on you, you’re all I can see.”
Drew kisses me, lingering before he pulls back to study me. His eyes are clear and filled with so much emotion that my throat closes up.
As if he too is overcome, he swallows hard. “I love you, Anna Jones. That’s not going to change. I loved you when I thought we’d never be together, and I love you still.”
I let go of a sharp breath and then lean into him. I don’t kiss his lips but the tender spot on his neck where his pulse beats. “I should have told you earlier.”
