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Great plan. Now I remember with perfect clarity what I am missing too.
Having just experienced true jealousy, I can safely say that the emotion is insidious, and I never want to feel it again. But it lingers like a plague, eating through my insides with dull, thick teeth.
I rub the hollow spot in the center of my chest and then pull my head out of the fog I’ve been wallowing in. Christ, I’m out with another girl. I shouldn’t be thinking about the one who didn’t want me.
I take a breath and face... Shit. What is her name?
In the darkness of my car’s interior, her eyes shine as she looks at me. She’s pretty. They all are: these girls I ask out with no intention of letting things go any further than one date. Hell, they all look vaguely similar, same general features, same body type, taste in clothes. All-American, perky sorority girls. Why hadn’t I noticed this before Anna? And I accused her of only wanting one type.
Bitterness fills my mouth.
My date smiles, hesitant. “That was...nice.”
Nice. Right. We’d been at the club for all of ten minutes before I disappeared, stuck my tongue down another girl’s throat, and then promptly came back to haul ass out of there like the place was on fire. Really nice of me.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “Sorry, I’m tired tonight. We’ve been practicing a lot.”
Lie. But one most girls seem to appreciate.
She’s no different. She smiles again, sympathetic. “That’s okay. Your dedication is admirable.”
Tell that to the guys, most of whom want to kill me about now.
“Thanks...” Fuck. What is her name? Stacy? No. Shannon! “Shannon.”
I brace for impact just in case I’ve gotten it wrong, but she smiles as if I’ve just given her some great reward.
Having nothing more to say, I turn my attention back to the road. Why did I go out with her? It was thoughtless. Suffocating. I can’t get her home soon enough. I turn on the radio in a desperate attempt to fill the silence. Jack White is singing about falling in love with a ghost he’s not brave enough to kiss. I stab the Off button with more force than necessary.
Thank God we’re now in front of her sorority house because I don’t think I can drive anymore. I pull over and brake hard enough to send us both rocking forward.
As if she’s been waiting for this moment, Shannon turns in her seat and gives me an expectant look. Her body language is crystal clear, from the way she leans in toward me, to her gaze flitting from my mouth to my eyes. She wants me to kiss her.
My fingers tighten around the steering wheel, and the leather creaks.
I’m not kissing her in this car. Not where I first got my mouth on Anna’s. Just seeing another girl sitting in the passenger seat is a slap in the face. It’s wrong. Anna should be there. In a way, she is. Haunting me with each breath. The fact my safe haven is now effectively ruined makes me want to punch something.
With a snap of the seatbelt, I wrench open my door and stumble into the cold night air. I suck in a deep breath, as I round the car and open the door for my date.
Not deterred, she manages to slide her body against mine when she rises out of the car. Hell.
“So,” she murmurs, resting a hand on my chest. “Thanks for taking me out tonight.”
I edge back, shutting the car door with my hip. She follows, and her hand finds my neck.
“Yeah, sure.” I sound like a robot. Why did I go out tonight?
Her eyes stare up at me. Waiting.
No. Not going to happen. I can’t even stir up a bit of enthusiasm. But then I think of Anna going home with Mr. Yuck. She’s moved on. Frowning, I bend my head closer to the girl who is willing. Rosy lips part in invitation. I stall out.
Just do it. Do it and move on too. Kiss the damn girl, already.
She takes the decision out of my hands. Her lips mash into mine. They feel wrong, not the right shape. She smells wrong, of sweet flowers instead of warm spices.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
My entire body recoils. I rear back, breaking out of her hold in an awkward fumble. Jesus. My dick feels like it’s shriveled in my shorts.
