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Killer nods his head at me as the rest of the guys come out of their rooms and get on their bikes. Hunter looks at me on his way to the van. He wants to know I heard him last night. So, I nod my head at him and down the last of my coffee before tossing it into the garbage can behind me. The Prospect is a good guy and if I can’t be with Annabell then I hope he does get with her. He’ll treat her right and no one will have to worry about some unknown asshole who could hurt her when she’s not around the club. That’s one of my biggest fears when it comes to her—someone will hurt her when she’s at college and Annabell will hide it from us because she doesn’t want to upset anyone in her life.
Once Killer starts his bike, the rest of us do the same and we head out. He’s leading this run because Slim is going to see Playboy in jail this weekend. It’s his weekly visit and he doesn’t want to miss it, especially considering Playboy is his son and he’s making a mess of things with Sam. She’s about to pull a runner and we all see it happening. Hell, that’s the reason why Annabell is leaving early for college. She’s pulling a runner in the only way she can because it’s what she feels she needs to do.
Playboy is pushing her away the same way I’m pushing Annabell away. We’re the two dumbasses in the club right now and it’s a mess of our own making. He won’t see Sam while he’s inside on trumped up charges and I won’t let Annabell help me. I guess we’re more alike than I ever thought we were. Maybe I need to go see him and talk to him about everything going on. Playboy has a fucking temper and will gut me for hurting his sister, but he’ll listen to what I have to say first. Maybe he can shed some insight into how I can start making amends. Or if I should go Nomad when I get back. I’ll have to think it over on the way home once we’re done with the run and I know I won’t get anyone hurt.
Shaking my head, I clear my thoughts and follow the guys. I’m in the middle of the pack and I know it’s because Killer doesn’t think I’ll keep my head in the game. So, until I prove to him I’m here with them, I’ll be kept on the sidelines so to speak. Not much I can do right now except keep my eyes peeled and look for anyone coming at us. Or any cops that start following us.
We don’t have shit on us right now, but that doesn’t mean the same can be said on the way back home. I don’t even know what we’re getting on this run, just know I volunteered to come along for the ride. So, I shake off the remaining thoughts and begin to get my head in the game for today’s ride. I can’t afford to let my exhaustion cause me to make a stupid mistake that someone else pays for.
Chapter Eight
Annabell
I KNOW VAULT’S been gone for a few days. Then he spent two days helping Valor go through their dad’s house. It was hard on them both, but it needed to be done. I’m just glad they worked together and got it done. I wanted to be there for Vault, but Savannah said he was having a really hard time with things and kept going out back of the house for a breather. Valor wasn’t doing much better, but at least he leaned on Savannah and the rest of the club instead of keeping everything bottled up inside him. I know he’s talked to the guys about what he’s going through and how he feels when it comes to his dad, but Vault still has yet to talk to anyone. It hurts me because I know he needs someone to talk to and he’s pushed everyone away and doesn’t know how to bridge the gaps he’s created.
Something else is going on with him though. I’ve heard Slim and Shy whispering about something. I know it has to do with Vault because every time I walk in the room they’re in, they stop talking and look at me. The looks I get almost verge on the edge of pity and sadness from the two of them. I’m getting nervous about what’s going on. However, I also know they won’t talk to me about anything regarding him because they’ll see it as club business. Or tell me that if he wanted me to know, he’d tell me himself. That used to be true. Vault talked to me about everything going on in his life and head. He’s such a stranger these days and I fear that we’ll never find the real him again. He’ll be a changed man and I’m not sure how he’s going to act moving forward with his life.
Finally, today is the day I’m going to find out what’s going on. I don’t care if I’m not supposed to know. If it involves Vault, I want to know. So, I’m going to ask Shy what’s going on and see what she tells me. She has a soft spot for me, well they both do really, and she’ll tell me without telling me. I know enough to put the pieces together and figure out what’s going on. Or I’ll talk to Valor because if anyone else will know, it will be him. They might not be talking, but Slim will pull him aside if it’s important and he feels that Vault is making a decision he’ll regret.
So, I make my way downstairs and find Shy sitting on the couch in the living room. She’s got Rayven on her lap as Kinsliegh plays on the floor. I sit down next to her and hold my hand out for Rayven to grab onto.
“Shy, what’s going on?” I ask straightforward and not beating around the bush.
“What do you mean?” she asks, glancing at me quickly to let me know she already knows what I’m talking about.
“With Vault? I know it’s him because you and Slim quit talking when I come in a room. Please tell me,” I plead with her, letting Rayven holding my fingers ground me as I wait for her to tell me what’s going on.
“He’s taking some time for himself. I’m not sure where, but today is the day he’s leaving,” she finally tells me, looking over at me with concern filling her face as she waits to see how I’ll react.
“He’s leaving the clubhouse. For good?” I ask, my heart racing as the air gets stuck in my lungs and I can’t breathe.
“I’m not sure. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone. If you want to say goodbye to him, I suggest you get over there and do it. Now,” she says, looking up at the clock with a sad smile on her face because she already knows what I’m gonna do.
I slide my flip flops on and make my way toward the door. Looking back at Shy, she has sadness in her eyes as I run through the door to go see Vault. I run across the field between the house and clubhouse and make my way in the back door of the club. Valor is sitting at the bar and I know it’s pain he’s trying to hide from everyone else. He doesn’t want his brother to leave no matter what’s going on between them. If Vault isn’t here, he can’t protect him the way he’s done every day of their lives. Even when Vault was pushing him away, Valor still found ways to protect his brother without his knowledge. He’s been doing his absolute best to save him from himself and Vault will eventually see that.
Nodding at Valor, I continue on my way until I get out the front door. Vault is sitting on his bike with a bag strapped to the back of it. There’s a girl standing near him and it looks like the house bunny he was sleeping on the couch with the last time I saw him. Tears fill my eyes as Slim turns his attention toward me. My dad doesn’t tell me to leave or go back inside. He steps aside and lets me make my decision for myself.
I slow my steps as Vault looks at me. A small smile graces his face amidst the pain I see there. He can’t hide a lot of what he feels from me. I’ve learned to read him better than he knows and I’ve seen the deep rooted pain and emptiness filling him. I’ve also seen how much he loathes himself for his actions and words. Now, I see the guilt and remorse filling him along with the pain. Vault’s walking a fine line and he doesn’t know what to do to get back what he’s lost or how to completely deal with losing the most important person in his life. It’s as if he’s leaving to make things easier on me, not because he truly wants to leave. I just hope Slim isn’t behind him leaving this time.
“Bell, how are you?” Vault asks, stepping away from his bike, Slim, and the girl.
“I’ve been better. I hear you’re leaving?” I ask him, .
“Yeah. I need some time away to figure out what my next move will be. I want to say I’m sorry for everythin’, Bell. I’m goin’ to miss you more than you know,” he says, pulling me into his arms.
“Then don’t go,” I whisper against his neck.
“I have to. I need to get past my grief and pain. It’s not helpin’ bein’ here. Not with all my dad’s memories and past here. I’ll be back one day. If not, you’re not gonna be here much longer. You’ve got great things ahead of you, babe,” Vault tells me as the first tears leave my eyes. “Give another man a chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Let someone in. I’ve hurt you too much, Bell. I know you’re talkin’ to someone from school. Hunter also wants to get to know you better. Let one of them, Bell. I’ve loved you from the second I saw you and that will never change. I’m just not the man you need. Eventually you’ll find your person and I hope to see him make you the happiest you’ve ever been. You’ll always be my Angel. The girl who saved me and never realized it because I didn’t let you in enough to tell you that.”
I can’t hold in the sob. It breaks free and I feel another set of arms wrap around me as Vault walks back toward his bike after pressing a kiss against the top of my head. Breaking free, I run to the man and wrap my arms around him once more. Vault holds me close and breathes me in as I do the same to him. I can feel his entire body trembling with emotion and it kills me to know he’s telling me to let him go. To love someone else instead of him because he doesn’t think he can be the man I need.
“I’ll always love you,” I tell him, my tears falling down between us. “I won’t ever give up on you, Alex. No matter what. I’ll remain at your side and have your back even with a million miles between us.”
“I’ll love you too, Bell. Don’t ever think I don’t love you because I love you more than words can say,” he tells me, looking at me with a deep sadness in his eyes. “You’re the other half of my soul and I will happily watch from the sidelines of your life as long as you’re safe, happy, healthy, and in love with an amazin’ man. A man who treats you like a queen instead of tearin’ you apart and hurtin’ you every chance he gets.”
Slim pulls me from Vault, wraps me tightly in his arms, and I watch as he gets on his bike. The girl who was standing in the front yard, walks over and climbs on his bike behind him. My heart shatters. I’m the only one who’s ever been on his bike and he told me that spot was reserved for his ol’ lady. Or the woman who was going to be his ol’ lady one day. Seeing her behind him kills me. Vault has made his decision and it’s time for me to finally let go of him. I won’t give up on him, but I can let go of hoping for anything to happen between the two of us if this girl will make him happy and be able to move forward with his life. That’s all I’ll ever want for him no matter how much it hurts me.
I cry harder as Slim pulls me into his chest. He wraps his arms around me and holds me even closer as Vault starts his bike and pulls out of the parking lot. Looking up, I see him throw a hand in the air and continue on his way. He doesn’t look back and I know this is more than likely the last time I’m going to see the man I love again. Vault won’t be coming back. And if he does, it’s only going to be so he can get his things. I can feel it in my gut. Vault’s path is no longer here in Benton Falls and that’s the decision he needed to make in order to save himself.
