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Not that I don’t want him. Hell, I want him like I want air to breathe.
I just…
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life knowing I’m his biggest regret.
21
DAPHNE
“Look at you.” Mel stands behind me and smooths out the skirt of my gown. “Just… oh, Daphne. Look at you!”
I am. I’m looking.
I just wish I recognized the woman in the mirror.
This is supposed to be the best day of my life. I’m about to marry the man of my dreams. I’m wearing the most stunning gown I’ve ever laid eyes on, and it fits me like a glove. Everything is perfect.
So why am I feeling so out of place?
“Here, we don’t want to forget this.” Hazel steps up behind me on the other side and drapes a gold necklace over my collarbone. “Because if we do, it might get stolen. By me.”
It really is stunning. My whole bridal set of jewelry is. Pasha took my choice of engagement ring and had everything else customized to fit the theme. White gold vines weave together to form the bands and chains of the set, balanced with delicate, yellow gold leaves and tiny diamonds. My earrings wrap around the shell of each ear with the vines, and the necklace dips just above my cleavage with a pendant shaped like a blooming rose.
It’s beautiful.
And yet I feel nothing.
“Look who’s here!” Mama enters the dressing room with Tatyanna in her arms, and for the first time since I woke up this morning, my heart actually melts.
My baby girl is all satin and fluffy tulle, her skirt and bodice beaded with the same floral motif as my gown. Tiny satin slippers cover her feet, and her headband was crafted to resemble a tiara.
Every woman in the room melts into coos and sighs. I take her into my arms, doing my best not to ruin my makeup with tears.
I will not cry.
I need to be happy.
For her.
“So beautiful, just like her mama.” Sofi smiles at both of us and gestures for the photographer to take a few photos of us together. “Now, let’s hope she stays this peaceful through the ceremony!”
I’m too enamored with my daughter to hear the chatter around me. She’s why we’re all here, in this moment, preparing for a huge step in a direction none of us ever anticipated.
A life her father never wanted.
I take a deep breath. Focus. I need to focus on Taty. On doing this for her.
The shutter of the camera clicks and whirrs over and over, but I don’t bother posing. If we’re going to look back in the photo albums to revisit these memories, I want them to be genuine.
I’ve had enough beautiful lies to last a lifetime.
“Hey. Daphne… Are you okay?”
Leave it to my sister to notice that I am, in fact, not okay. I try to muster a smile, something to convince her that I’m fine, I can do this.
But all I can manage to do is blink back tears.
Sofi guides the photographer out of the room and requests different shots of the luxurious hotel, floral arrangements, et cetera. She hurries back in and locks the door behind her, worry etched on her face.
