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“I thought you were making tea.”
“I changed my mind.” Penny shrugged, turning off the kettle.
It had been a craptastic day, and now she showed up. The reason for his sleepless nights stood in his kitchen wearing tight jeans, a skimpy tank top, and a lot of attitude. Between wanting her and coming to terms with what he’d seen in her apartment, he’d had restless nights, and he’d had his ass handed to him in practice today followed by a heart-to-heart with Coach Shockley who wanted to know if everything was all right. The hell it is.
“You know where it is,” he said, popping the top of his can before his head popped. The slice was halfway to his mouth when she slammed the refrigerator door shut, rattling the bottles inside.
“You”—she pointed at him—“are the most self-centered, selfish person I have ever known. It’s all about what you want and need. You don’t care about anyone else. You don’t pay attention to the people around you and what they might need. No wonder your front line won’t protect you.”
Bash chewed. The pizza tasted like cardboard, but his stomach grumbled, so he kept eating. And chewing over her words. Penny knew him better than almost anyone and he trusted her, and for her to think so little of him, showed what a colossal idiot he was. He’d toned his arrogance down to overconfidence, and he paid attention to people, but he was hopeless if they threw out the wrong cues. He thought she’d understood that. Understood and accepted him, irritating warts and all.
Her comments were overly harsh and hurtful. He couldn’t dispute her accusations, but he didn’t have to accept her unjustified abuse. Bash yanked open the front door. “I need to eat and review plays.” He motioned for her to leave, and Penny stormed toward him like a bull seeing a red cape.
“What about what I need?” she hissed.
“Now, who’s the selfish one? Tonight was your girls’ night, so I planned to catch up on stuff I’ve put off and do more game prep. I wasn’t expecting you, and I’m not good at changing plans quickly.”
“You make your living thinking on your feet and changing directions.”
“Unless there’s a ball in my hand, I’m not good at it. I make my plan and I stick to it. It’s the only way I make progress. And I won’t apologize for it, but I can see how it might come off as selfish. As an only child raised by au pairs, I can be rude and self-centered. I’ll own that, but I’ve been working hard not to be. Guess I need to work harder.” Bash held out her coat. He needed her gone so he could re-group and lick his wounds in peace. I thought I was being better.
Penny closed the door and wrapped her arms around him before he could react. Seriously? She’s the one crying? He relented and reciprocated the hug, but that didn’t mean he’d forgive her. She kept crying as he patted her back. Too much more of this and he’d start muttering there, there and other pithy phrases.
His teammates complained about crying wives and girlfriends, but Bash had never been in this situation. The closest he’d been was a wannabe girlfriend crying quietly in a restaurant when he gave her the it’s not you, it’s me speech, but it was totally her. She was clingy like a vine and dumber than a stump. Bash liked to think he was wiser now, but the woman sobbing in his arms was evidence against that.
Maybe this time it is me. He didn’t want to lose Penny. He liked who he was with her.
She stepped back and rubbed her cheeks with the heels of her hands. “I’m a mess,” she said, sniffling.
“Is this one of those times where I need to lie and say you’re not, so you’ll feel better?”
She huffed, but she didn’t sound upset. It sounded almost like a chuckle. “No, I’m an ugly crier. Puffy eyes, blotchy skin, runny nose. I’m quite the prize.”
“I think you are.”
“Maybe one from a Cracker Jack box.” Penny gave him a tight smile. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“Penny, it’s not all on you. Whatever we’re in has lasted longer than any of my off-season relationships.” He stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from pulling her back in his arms. Once he’d realized he couldn’t stop the sobbing, he’d just held on tighter until she was done. “The common denominator in all of them is me. I’m not good at relationships. It’s like I’m an alien or there’s a secret code sheet that everyone has but me.” She watched him as he brought her a box of tissues. He sat on the couch, hoping some distance from her would give him a clearer head.
“My parents did, and still do, a lot of socializing. When we’d go out, I always felt out of place and like my clothes were too tight or itchy. I thought I’d grow out of it, but I haven’t. As an adult, I feel like I’m a half step behind almost everyone. Except you. Nothing feels off when I’m with you. It’s the only time everything feels right, even when you’re pointing out my failings. I’m sorry you don’t feel the same.” He risked a glance at her. Penny’s eyes were shiny, and he hoped she wouldn’t start crying again. He didn’t want pity tears.
“It was girls’ night, and Elspeth said a few things that were unnecessary and uncalled for. Instead of going home, which would have been better for both of us, I came here.” Penny sat next to him.
“Do the Buchanan women get together every month? Don’t you see enough of each other?”
“You can never have too much Buchanan women, and yes, we get together once a month. It’s easier to complain if the men aren’t around.” She nudged his shoulder, and he smiled, wondering if girls’ night was code for something else.
“It’s hard when the people you love and who are supposed to love you don’t understand,” he said, standing. Now that she’d had her meltdown, and he’d had time to adjust his plan, he didn’t want her to leave. Bash grabbed two apples—one for each of them—and put the last piece of pizza on a plate and tossed it into the microwave. He brought everything back to her and handed her the plate. “I’d like you to stay, but I have about an hour’s worth of notes I need to review.”
“My e-reader’s in my purse, and I’d love to stay. Thank you.” Penny smiled at him, looking grateful and relieved. Bash wore the same expression. “What happens when you’re done with your notes?”
Bash took a large bite of his apple, joining her on the couch. “If my roommates aren’t home, I’ll show you some special plays,” he said with a wink.
“And if they are?”
“Then I’ll escort you to your car and improvise.”
“See? I knew you could think on your feet,” she teased.
