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Ardol winced. A week ago, that would have sounded like a dream come true. Now? The idea of Jade being “drugged” into craving him and needing to have sex multiple times without wanting to have sex was torture.
“Oh, no. Is there trouble in paradise? Size? Fit?”
“No.”
Marcus took off his glasses. “I’m your doctor. Whatever you say is confidential. What’s up?”
Ardol hesitated. He loathed the idea of confessing personal problems to others, especially those “beneath” him. But for his Queen...
“Jade worked at a Pleasure Park for so long, with so many horrible customers, that her libido is compromised,” he said stiffly.
“Ah. You want some patches for her? I think I have a—”
“No! No, I don’t want any drugs to make her feel anything unnatural. Anything but what she actually feels. My question is—can’t you just take a sample from me and place it into her when she’s fertile?”
“Without the chromosomal compatibility booster, it would be useless. And a side effect of the booster is that the female is in heat or a heat-like state, anyway.”
Ardol hesitated. It would be cruel to leave Jade suffering in a heat. No, he’d have to help her.
No! She could help herself if she was so inclined.
He shook his head to shake off the tempting thoughts.
Marcus was holding up his paw. “Wait. Let me try to explain in simple terms. Sperm fertilizes an egg.”
“I’m not a cub,” Ardol said sulkily. “I know how sex works, Marcus.”
Marcus sighed. “There you are. Oh, well, I suppose I can’t blame your Queen for not fixing your arrogance and childishness overnight. You’re already a much more tolerable Felid than you were four days ago. Now, then, as I was explaining before being rudely interrupted, Felid sperm is not like human sperm, from what I understand. It dies immediately when it’s not in the seminal fluid that’s secreted by a male while he is with his Queen. The secretions that your spikes produce when you swell inside your Queen. The swelling ensures that you’re wedged inside your Queen so your swimmers stay inside—but all of the dozens of tiny fleshy protrusions on the swelling ring of flesh create the carrier fluid that keeps the sperm alive. And while this Felid-human fertility is new, Felid fertility issues have been around for ages. Viable sperm and the fluid that keeps it alive are only made when actively engaged in intercourse with a Queen. Why, you ask?”
“No, I wasn’t going to ask. I was going to leave,” Ardol retorted, but he remained sitting on a stool beside the doctor.
“Very well. Go.”
“Jeez, I was joking! Go ahead. Why?”
“Because when a Queen is in heat, she produces the levels of beta-lipoprotein, orosomucoid, and ceruloplasmin that are needed to activate and fortify that carrier fluid with the favorable gamma chains that make your swimmers arrive alive.”
Ardol blinked. “What?”
“When she’s wet, you swell up, and your combined fluids make the fluid that keeps your sperm alive. When you shoot your stuff into a specimen bottle, you’re shooting blanks. There is no baby without mommy and daddy working together.” Marcus laced his paws together with a significant look.
“But... But does a human female have those... betamucoid plasma-whatsis?”
“She does, just in the wrong amounts to keep Felid swimmers alive. But with chromosomal compatibility boosters,” Marcus gave him a toothy grin, “you’re back in business.”
Ardol nodded with a sinking feeling. “So sexual intercourse is the only way?”
Marcus leaned forward, eyes narrowed and shaggy mane flaring out with his impassioned speech. “Why do you think a shortage of Queens is such a huge deal? Even if we could ship our sperm samples to a galaxy far, far away and ask them to send us back some embryos, it would be a lost cause, about as useful as sending tubes full of tears.”
“Oh, God. Damn it, Marcus, there has to be a way to fix that!”
“Researchers and doctors have tried to create a medium that works to keep Felid sperm alive. They’ve worked on it for many years without success—and after the virus, immunology and survival took priority. We need adult Queens of reproductive age who are not ‘compromised’ post-surgery in order to collect samples of fertile secretions—and some say that those secretions only produce the right compounds when triggered by a male’s seminal fluid. You see the difficulty? I’m sure in a few years research into this matter will start up again. In the meantime—you and your bride should work on relaxing. Falling in love. Go back to bed, Ardol. Enjoy yourself!”
With a tired, “Thank you for all of your help, Doctor,” Ardol shuffled back to his quarters.
I can’t enjoy myself unless Jade enjoys it, too.
If this is love—it’s nothing like the songs on the media player.
