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“You only think of yourself.” He said the words as she had and I flinched.
“I don’t only think of myself!” I was ready to fight him, but he only gave one guffaw of a humorless laugh that stopped me in my tracks.
“Is that why you inserted yourself into the event celebrating my wedding, because you were thinking of Aeinya and I?”
“I–” I didn’t know what to say. It had been Aeinya’s idea, but hearing him now, I couldn’t say it, I didn’t know how to answer him. I wanted to prove myself, I wanted to be in my family's life. I wanted to be in what should be my life. But I guess I had, everything I had done had been all about me.
My face suddenly felt very hot, a weight landing on my chest that might have been a branding iron. My leathers creaked as I fell back into the chaise, those hot tears falling down my cheeks. My palms were filthy, the dirt and scars of hiding in corridors and gardening, and all the things I wasn’t supposed to do smeared with the blood of Lix.
“You don’t think, Elara.” Batian said after a minute, his rage was subsiding, even if I was still sitting there with my soul bleeding over everything. “You don’t act like the princess you are supposed to be. We have done everything to keep you safe, but you can’t even follow the simple rules.”
I said nothing, I only stared at my hands as Batian’s stupid white boots stepped into view.
“You almost got yourself killed, Elara, and for what?”
“I wanted to prove I wasn’t weak.” I spoke barely above a whisper.
“You couldn’t even lift the sword, Elara. You couldn’t even face his magic. You would have died if I hadn’t stepped in.”
“I know how to fight.” My head snapped up. He stood over me, all of that towering disappointment dripping from him as I glared right back at him.
“What? With wooden swords?” He laughed with that heartless sound again and I jerked.
He knew. My body was wooden as I stared unseeing at that twitch of a wicked smile on his lips. He knew about my training, about the Boy and I fighting. He knew, all this time, and all this time he still called me sickly and weak.
“I know you think you are secretive, that I don’t know what you do. But I do, Elara.” I did not like that wicked taunt that lined his words, the way it slithered over my spine. I wanted to recoil, to shift away. My defiance melted with each menacing word. “I know everything. If I need to lock you in here alone for the rest of your life in order to keep you safe then I will.”
“No!” I jumped up.
“No?”
“I… you can’t… I’ll do better. I’ll stop…” My heart broke a little more with every word, with every promise that chipped away at everything I had been able to gain.
“Prove it, Elara,” he stepped back, wiping the front of his tunic as if I had gotten dirt on the golden embroidery. “Because if anything like this happens again then the last of the luxuries you have will be stripped away. You are my sister, Elara, and I love you, but I will do what needs to be done.” His voice was soft, but he didn’t look at me as he said it, his focus was only on the Boy’s partition.
He paused as though I would respond, but I couldn’t make the words come, I couldn’t make anything pull past the knot that was in my chest.
“I don’t want to be harsh,” he continued, turning toward me and straightening his tunic again. “I don’t want to be cruel, but I am the next Ramal…”
“But you aren’t the Ramal, yet, you are my bro–” I didn’t finish, Batian was already shaking his head. “Batian? You’re not…” my voice caught at the look he was giving me. “Father…”
I couldn’t even bring myself to voice what I already saw in his eyes.
“Father’s health has reached a breaking point and he is stepping down at the end of this sun cycle, after the wedding I will be crowned.” He was back to straightening his cape.
“When?” Father’s health was poor, and I knew he was struggling, possibly due to his distance from his Catalyst, but it wasn’t that bad. I had just seen him, he saw me, he knew exactly what was happening. He was fine.
“When we arrive back at the Runturin from the wedding the crowning will take place. I will be stripped of my name and will take on that of Ramal, Elara, and I will do anything to keep you safe. To make sure you are protected.”
To make sure you are hidden.
He didn’t say it, but it didn’t matter. I heard it anyway, heard the words that I never thought I would hear my brother say.
My brother who loved me, who always smiled, who would tease and laugh and always cared for me. Looking at him now, however, that man wasn’t there. It was only Mother’s icy glare, only her harsh stare hidden in his dark eyes.
It was only the future Ramal, the title having swallowed what was left of my brother whole.
“Do you understand, Elara?”
