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He rolls his eyes and his gaze lands on Jo. “You’ve been party to worse than that in all our—”
“Rylan!” I’m not going to stand here and listen to him make excuses.
“Of course it won’t happen again.” He drops his chin and grins at Jo. “You used to be more fun.”
She kicks him in the shin and storms off. Jamys looks at me with rounded eyes, and I respond with a shrug. Our level of familiarity is something he’s getting used to, but Jo’s physical assault on the would-be heir is understandably shocking to an outsider.
Rylan rubs his shin and shakes his head. “That was excessive.”
“You were excessive!”
“She knows I wouldn’t have hurt her.” He turns to Jamys. “I would not have hurt you.”
“Glad to hear that.” His unease is painted on his face.
I plant my hands on my hips. “That’s quite enough for today.”
Jamys walks away with me. He’s maintained our typical boundaries, for which I am exceedingly grateful. I had been spiraling down thoughts of sex being as monotonous as that kiss. What is bad sex like? I can’t imagine the act without being completely enraptured, desperate for more, fingernails dragging down his back as Tomas— No! Not Tomas. Well, it makes sense that I can only picture it with him. That’s been my only experience. But Jamys might be even better. That’s… certainly possible.
“Somehow, it still surprises me to see you out of a dress so often,” Jamys says, and my eyebrows raise slightly. “I mean, in trousers—leggings, and a tunic instead of a dress.”
His fumbling is endearing. “Well, when I’m training, there tend to be rogue winds, and I don’t need my skirts blowing up and making a show of anything.”
He blushes crimson. “Arabella, I… Should I apologize for the other night?”
My chin pulls back. “Why would you?”
“You’d had perhaps more than a bit to drink, and I’d hate to think I took advantage of you in any way.”
Oh, sweet lamb. “Jamys, you asked me very politely, I answered, and I do not regret it.” It saddens me a bit, but I don’t regret it.
“You’re sure I didn’t cross a line?”
I don’t think he can even see the line from where he is. “Not at all.” I squeeze his hand. “It’s very sweet of you to be concerned, though.”
“I really don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to you. It’s rather unnerving.”
“You needn’t worry. We’ll figure it out together.” It’s terribly unfair of me to judge our physical compatibility already. I’m certain Jamys will be eager to please me, and we’ll build intimacy just like we have to build everything else: one piece at a time.
I excuse myself to my rooms for a bath, certain that some quiet time by myself will soothe away these concerns. But when I step inside, I’m not alone.
Chapter thirty-four
“What are you doing here?”
Tomas leans against the armrest of my sofa, his chin on his fist. His hair is mussed, making me wonder if he’s been running his hands through it. The slight dishevelment extends to where his black sleeves are scrunched up to his elbows, exposing his forearms. He rarely comes to my chambers, and the scenario sets my pulse racing.
“I don’t like leaving things in a bad place with you.” His gaze pierces me, containing innumerable thoughts behind those blue eyes. “Even if it would make it easier.”
“What would our fighting make easier?” I approach slowly, stopping behind another chair that faces him, as if such a barrier would keep us apart if we didn’t want to be.
“Are you falling in love with Jamys?”
Dizziness sweeps through my head, like I’m not getting enough oxygen. I want to. It would make for a much happier life. “I think I could, someday.”
“Someday,” Tomas repeats, “but not yet?”
“Not yet.”
