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“Allow me to show you what experience has taught me.”
Chapter twenty
The town square bursts with excitement and happiness, but I’m content to sit at a table outside the pub and observe from the outskirts. Strong black tea spreads its warmth through me. It’ll take a lot of it to sharpen the haze of my exhaustion.
“This was a good idea.” Marcus watches as Nina amuses some children with flames darting around her arms and waist.
People are much more excited to be against something if it’s something they never have to face. It isn’t difficult to win them over. Showing our faces, having conversations with them, making ourselves real people instead of theoretical figureheads somewhere does the trick.
“All of my ideas are good.” Except ideas involving Tomas. Those are idiotic. Enjoyable, but very bad as ideas go. “You should go participate.”
He sighs and begrudgingly sets off to mingle with the people of Lambridge.
Across the square, Tomas and Rylan speak with the woman from the inn—the one whose father disappeared. It’s offensive, really, how Tomas can look so perfectly awake and put together. We were both left with the same very few hours to sleep. How was it enough for him, but I’m a sleepy mess?
Our interpretation of one last time came to mean one last night, which became an impossibly long night with many last times packed into it. I was utterly drunk on him, and all the aftereffects—soreness, fatigue, sluggishness—are assaulting me now. How can he look fresh as a spring flower? The sun was beginning to rise by the time he left me.
I sip more tea as if it can reverse how pathetically I clung to him last night. Any excuse to keep him touching me, I took. You’ll need to help me wash this mess out of my hair led to washing other things, which led to getting messy again, which led to my bed…
A sigh escapes me as I brush a fingertip across my forehead. At least knowing it was the last time meant we took full advantage. It’s probably easier than if we hadn’t been aware when it was over.
Jamys appears at my side. Rather than being wretched as seeing him today should make me, confusion and concern swirl through me at the sight of him. Even when I’m warming to him, there’s never a flaming desire to be on top of him.
“Are you sure you’re feeling well?” he asks.
“The tea has woken me right up.” I pop up to my feet as sprightly as I can manage. “Would you like me to introduce you to the person who might try to steal me away from you?” I regret the words the instant they leave my lips. The circumstances with the little boy are funny and sweet, but it seems as if someone else should be trying to steal me away. He won’t, though—not in any way that matters.
So Jamys offers me his arm, confident in his hold on me. “Yes, please.”
We make our way across the square, and Richard spots me in the crowd. “You look more like a princess today.”
“Because I’m wearing a dress?” He nods. “I suppose I do. Have you met my sister?”
“I did, and she’s perfectly nice.”
You don’t know her very well. “This man here wanted to meet you.”
Jamys gets down on one knee to level with the boy. “I understand you wanted to marry Princess Arabella.”
“Only so I could be a prince.”
I gape and lay a hand dramatically on my chest. “You wound me, Richard.”
Jamys laughs. “Being a prince is overrated, except in being matched with a lovely princess.”
“She said you were nicer than her.”
Jamys smiles up at me. “Arabella is surprisingly modest for a princess. I think she’s very nice.”
As they chat, I suppress the guilt threatening to consume me. I haven’t deserved such praise from Jamys, but from now on, I will.
***
Lord Horace’s invitation to make ourselves at home in his castle has been accepted wholeheartedly.
Nina sinks onto a chaise and tugs her soft knit sleeves farther over her hands. “Thank you for suggesting this, Ara. It’s really lovely to experience other parts of the kingdom.”
“Did everyone hear that? Nina thanked me. Such words shall never be uttered again, so please, commit it to memory.”
