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Stopping abruptly, Gleb turns to me, catching my hand with his fingers. And my pulse breaks into a sprint as he gently pulls me to a stop.
My palm is on fire with the electrical caress of his touch. And I’ve craved it so badly that my body is overcome by it, my mind screaming for more. But if I take even the slightest bit for myself, I don’t know that I’ll be able to stop.
Skin tingling with a heady combination of fright and anticipation, I face him, my heart thoroughly lodged in my throat. I part my lips in an attempt to breathe, but I can’t get my lungs to expand.
“Mel, I—I’m not good with emotions. I wasn’t raised to express my feelings—or to even have them, really. But I hope you’ll bear with me so I can say what I have to say.”
Oh god. Here it comes.
Chills ripple down my spine, raising goosebumps along my arms as I realize that Gleb’s taking the decision out of my hands. He’s going to tell me he doesn’t want to be with me.
An icy ball of dread drops like lead in my stomach, and I suddenly feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready at all.
Releasing a deep breath, Gleb peers deep into my eyes, the mesmerizing green of his own drawing me in until I can feel him touching my soul. “After that, we can go our separate ways,” he assures me. “We can get an annulment since you and Gabby are no longer in danger.”
He says it with such calm conviction that I’m sure it’s what he wants. Dread transitions into panic as my breaths become shorter and faster, my heart rate skyrocketing. And I brace myself for the impending devastation. Because as hurt as I am by our argument yesterday, I couldn’t sleep last night until I promised myself that I would fight to salvage what Gleb and I have.
But it seems that I’m the only one who wants to fight.
And that realization is so soul-crushing, I’m not sure I’m going to make it through this conversation.
But I’ll try.
“W-What did you have to say?” I ask, my voice trembling so hard it easily gives me away.
Gleb takes both my hands in his, his thumbs brushing over my knuckles in what I’m sure he means as a soothing gesture. But I’m hanging on by a thread here, and the sign of concern is almost enough to completely undo me.
“It really wouldn’t matter to me who Gabby’s father is,” he starts, the words gutting me completely. “I would always care for her regardless.”
Pain-driven frustration makes my ears ring, and I’m opening my mouth to defend myself even though I just agreed to hear him out. “But you are?—”
“I know,” he cuts me off, his brows pressing together in concerned determination. It’s a rare physical expression of his emotion, and it rocks me to my core. “I believe you. Really, I do. And I never should have doubted you because, when it really matters, you’re willing to be vulnerable and tell the truth. You’ve shown me that, and I was just too blind to see…”
He swallows forcefully, his gaze dropping momentarily. He shakes his head, as if to collect himself. And all the while, I feel as though I might explode if he doesn’t finish his sentence.
Then his eyes return to mine, and the intense pain in them jolts through my body like a bolt of lightning.
“I can see that you’re trying. You’re finding your way in a world full of men who have broken your trust,” he says gently, his voice a soft caress. “I want to be different from those men. I want to prove I’m worthy of your trust. I shouldn’t insist on it or even expect it, which is where I’ve gone wrong this whole time.”
Gleb shakes his head again, his eyes flashing with intense anger, but it’s so clearly focused inward that I want to do something to shield him from his self-condemnation.
“I thought I earned it by saving you from a terrible fate,” he continues. “But I see now that it was hardly a fair expectation. I might have stopped you from enduring hell, but in the end, that says little about who I really am, why I would deserve your trust. And then, after years of men proving how untrustworthy we are, I came in and just… demanded it. When I couldn’t even give it in return.”
“Gleb,” I breathe, because that’s not true. The fact that he keeps doing it—that he’s had so many opportunities to just walk away, and still he keeps coming back to save me—speaks volumes about the kind of man he is.
But I don’t know what else to say. I’m dumbfounded.
Lifting my hands to his chest, Gleb presses my palms flat over his heart so I can feel how fiercely it’s beating. He traps them there, covering them with his own hands. Bringing me closer, he looks at me with such sincere remorse, it steals my breath away.
“I’m sorry, Mel. Truly. I’ve been a complete ass. I should have been more patient, more understanding. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been to go through this alone, how scary it must have been to know you had to keep Gabby safe all on your own.”
I feel like, of all the ways I had anticipated this conversation would go, I never actually believed Gleb would come to me with an apology. Let alone one so passionately genuine, and vulnerable that it brings tears to my eyes. But suddenly, all that strength and iron determination I’ve had to muster, all the fight and anger that I’ve used as a shield for years, just… evaporates.
The walls and the barriers of defense that I keep building come crumbling down at once.
This man sees me, all of me, like no one else can.
And even though I’m utterly terrified to be suddenly defenseless, I somehow have never felt so safe.
