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Me: Yeah, we’ll see.
When I realized I no longer heard the shower running, I stood and went in search of my bag. There was something important I wanted to give to Oliver, and in the midst of our arguing, I’d forgotten.
Me: Let me know when you hear from the team.
We exchanged a few more good lucks and goodbyes, then I worked up the nerve to reach out to someone I’d been dreading talking to.
My best friend didn’t have this phone number, which was why I’d yet to receive a lecture from her. She had to know what I’d done by now. Word was out that I’d taken off, so I had to do some damage control.
Me: Hey, it’s me. Yes, that “me.” Don’t be mad. You know I had to do this and keep it a secret. Well, I thought it was all clandestine-y.
Sydney wasted no time in her response.
Sydney: I was wondering when I’d hear from you. Took you long enough. You could’ve gotten yourself killed had Carter not assumed you’d one day pull a move like this.
Sydney: But you know that. (Redact what I wrote above.) Just tell me how you are. I know it wasn’t easy seeing him.
Me: I’m a mess, but trying to keep it together. I have no plans to leave without him, so don’t get into any trouble while you’re away without me there to bail you out.
Sydney: Me? In trouble? Never. (Did you hear me scoff all the way from wherever you are?)
Sydney: You’ll be okay, though. So will Oliver. Just no more secret escapes without me, got it?
Me: Yeah, I know, I know.
Sydney: I have to go. Talk soon. Love you.
Me: Love you, too.
That conversation went better than I thought. With that done, I tucked my phone into my backpack and removed the chain from the side pocket, curling my fingers protectively around it.
With the cabin being so small, it only took me a few steps down the hall to locate the bathroom. Was I about to enter the unlocked room uninvited? No. Was I about to ambush Oliver the second he stepped out? Yup.
When the door opened, I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t expected to see Oliver wearing only a white towel wrapped around his hips. The scowl on his face was very much anticipated, though.
Here goes. Before my heart wound up in my throat, blocking my ability to speak, I quickly said, “You never let go. You hung on. You waited for me, and I’m going to do the same.” I’d taken his words and flipped them back on him. “It’s my turn. If you need to push me away, then do it. Well, I mean, you’ll fail, but you can still try.” That was probably one of the most honest things I’d ever said, and I wasn’t sure if I’d have been capable of expressing those feelings had Doctor Riley Logan not helped me come to terms with them.
I did my best to look into his eyes, but it was so hard to do when he kept staring at me like he hated me. Like he wished he’d have let the ground swallow me down that thirty-foot drop.
My gaze drifted over to his shoulder to the tattoo that still needed to be fixed from his GSW. The skin was puckered and pink at the center of the demon that was beneath Saint Michael.
“Don’t do this,” he grated out like it’d been physically painful for him to speak those words.
“But you know I will.” Maybe Gwen was right, and I had to remember who I was before what happened in Thailand. Maybe it was the only means for us to both find our way back to the people we used to be. Okay, maybe we could never be those exact people again, but?—
“Why are you outside the bathroom?” he asked, cutting off my thoughts.
I couldn’t help but visually follow the trail of water droplets down his ridged abs that disappeared beneath the towel as I sputtered, “I have something that belongs to you. You left it at the office before . . . and well . . .” Great, this was going perfectly. I was the one now struggling to talk. A ball of nerves. “Here.”
I opened my hand, and the chain slipped down but the dog tags remained in place.
When he didn’t take it from me, I realized it was probably because he was afraid to touch me. So, I worked through my issues and reached up, preparing myself to place the chain around his neck.
“What are you doing?”
“My best,” I whispered. It was a gut-shot reaction, but it was the truth.
His brows slammed together, but he slowly bent forward a bit, allowing me to secure the chain around his neck where it belonged. I’d accomplished it without touching him. But oddly, I found myself, yet again, wanting to feel him. Touch his skin. To confirm he was real, and truly standing before me.
