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Fear creeps in when I think about his reaction.
He's already suffocating me, keeping me as a prisoner here. If he finds out I've been hiding things from him there's no telling what he'll do to me - or Elle.
He has the power to make our lives miserable.
I shake my head. It's better if he doesn't know. At least for now. Until I can organize everything.
Instead of telling Stefano, I message Matteo.
Me: The doctor just sent me the report for your tests. You're a match. You can be a donor for Elle. Will you come over? We need to discuss everything.
I stare at my phone, tensely waiting while he types out his reply.
Matteo: That's good news. I'll come over tomorrow evening.
Me: Thank you, that's great. See you then.
I lay back down in bed, wanting to scream with excitement, but I'm also filled with dread.
The surgery is a risk in itself. And Elle is weak. There is still a lot that has to be considered, but the hardest part is over. We have a donor.
At work the next day I'm struggling to focus and I'm relieved that we only have two very minor surgeries booked for the day. When they're done, I immediately go over to Elle's doctor to talk about what happens from here - now that we have a donor.
"Well, now we need to arrange for the surgery. I took the liberty of drawing up a quote for you so that you can get the funds together. We will need payment upfront before we book. Once they've given the go-ahead and everything is cleared we will book Elle in."
He hands me a piece of paper filled with medical codes and prices alongside each code.
My eyes scroll down to the bottom as thick dread sets in.
"That's the total?" I say in disbelief.
"Yes." His brows knot when he sees the look on my face.
"Is everything ok, Amelia?"
"Um, yes, yes, everything's fine," I say quickly. I don't want him to know that I don't have even a quarter of this amount. I have to go to the bank. I need another loan. They've already given me three towards Elle's treatment, but surely they'll give me another for her surgery. I grip the quote so tightly in my hands that I tear the paper.
Shaking, I straighten it out and fold it, slipping it into my handbag.
The bank refuses.
They tell me I'm already over-extended on my payments and I can't possibly afford another loan. I talk to the manager and he says there's nothing he can do.
I can't believe I've come this far, found her a donor, and now I can't afford the surgery.
I head back home, my head churning, trying to figure out how to solve this.
There has to be a way.
Panic has settled over me like a thick blanket by the time I get home. I don't dare go and see Elle in this state. I can't let it slip that I'm stuck. I want to break the good news to her - but I don't want to tell her anything until I'm sure it's all one hundred percent going to happen. I can't do that to her.
Stefano is in the kitchen and I hurry past him, not wanting him to see my face or ask questions that I don't want to answer. I can't deal with him now.
I run up to the bedroom and fight for control over my emotions.
Sitting alone in the bedroom I nervously dial my father. I know what Stefano said - I know he threatened to kill me if I ever contact my parents again - but I have to try.
I have to do this for Elle.
