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"Hi, baby," I say cheerfully, walking over to the side of her bed. She has the remote control in her hand and is busy lowering and raising the back of the bed.
"Hi, Mommy. How was work?"
"Work was long but good. How was your day? Was it kind of scary being moved into this new space? Were the doctors who helped you nice? I really wanted to be here with you, but there was an accident at the hospital, and I had to work even longer than I planned."
"That's ok. Everyone was really nice and the doctor who is going to check up on me while I'm here is super friendly."
"That's good, baby. I see you've got Elle."
She lifts the elephant up to show me. "I think she needs another wash." She laughs, then hugs the pink fur ball against her chest.
I pull a chair close to the side of her bed and sit down. "Do you want me to read you a story? Or do you want to watch cartoons on your iPad?"
Elena bites her lower lip and I feel my stomach knot.
"Mommy."
"Yes, baby?"
"Why did that man tell me he is my dad?"
"Stefano? Did he say he is your dad?" I ask, doing my best not to sound horrified because I don't want to freak her out. Matteo must have told him.
Why would he do that? We had an agreement. Fuck. There's no other way he could have known.
"Um, baby, just watch some cartoons for a bit now and we can talk about that another time, ok. That man will leave you alone from now on."
But if he's my dad…"
"Elle, please, will you just watch some cartoons now and we can talk about it later?"
I'm in no state to have a heart-to-heart with her. I'm fighting tears and panic at the same time. I'm exhausted after my shift at the hospital and I need a hot shower.
"I'm so tired right now, baby. I just need a shower and I promise you we can talk about it soon - just not now. Is that ok?"
Elle nods. "Ok, Mommy. That's ok." I can see she's disappointed, but there is nothing I can do about that now.
I'm so angry with Matteo for telling Stefano - and I'm so angry at Stefano for telling Elle without even talking to me about it first.
I sigh softly.
"I'll come and see you in a bit. I'll bring some dinner in."
Elle is already flicking through the cartoons on her iPad and I close my eyes for a second. I am so grateful for her calm nature, her gentle heart, and her patience.
I lean down and kiss her forehead.
"Ring the bell if you need anything. I'll hear it no matter where I am in the house."
"Okie dokie." She says, cheerfully, clicking on the cartoon with a pink elephant, which to no surprise - is her favorite.
"Do you want me to take Elle now and wash her?"
"No, she's watching cartoons with me." She replies, gripping Elle tighter.
"Alright, tomorrow then." I laugh.
I walk out of her room, towards mine, wondering how I am going to have that conversation with her. I never planned to tell her that Stefano was her father. Now I have no choice. I had to explain to her, somehow, why she never met him before and why we were suddenly living with him.
