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Can I still go to college?
What about my job?
What about my engagement to the man I am in love with?
I want to call Stefano because he is the one who I feel safest with, but then I realize, I have no idea where he is or what he is doing on this business trip - or any business trip he goes on.
He was so casual about telling his security guy to break that man's knees and his arms; it was so cruel and so casual. Like it was the most normal thing in the world for him to suggest.
And all of those stories about him - how he has tortured entire families to get what he wants or torn down homes and taken parents away from children.
Do I really want my baby to grow up knowing that that is who their father is?
Suddenly I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life.
I don't know what to do.
There is a knock at my bedroom door.
"Lia, are you in there? Dinner is ready."
My mom's voice drifts through the door.
"Mom," I call out through choked tears.
"Lia?" I hear the door opening and her footsteps as she walks to the bathroom. She sticks her head through the bathroom door. "Sweetie?" As soon as she sees my face she drops to the floor next to me and gathers me up in her arms.
"Lia, what's going on? What's wrong, honey?" Her voice is rich with worry.
I point to the counter where the pregnancy tests are lined up.
She glances in that direction and a heavy sad sigh escapes her lips.
"Oh, honey. Ok, ok, it's not the end of the world, sweetheart."
"But it is, Mom."
"Don't be silly. You can still go to Saint Aquinas. You can still get your degree. Your father and I will help you every step of the way."
I shake my head. My mother has always been supportive - but this - this is different. This is bigger. This is dangerous.
"Mom, it's…"
She pulls away from me and looks at me with narrowed worried eyes.
"Amelia, what is it?" She demands, the worry getting thicker in her tone.
"The father." I take a deep breath and swallow back more tears.
She remains silent, waiting, tense.
"The father is Stefano Amalfi."
Her jaw drops open as the initial shock fills her eyes with horror and fear. She quickly pushes it away for my sake. She bites down hard on her lip, and I can see her fighting for control of her thoughts.
"Amalfi." She whispers.
"I'm so sorry, Mom." The tears are streaming down my cheeks again.
