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‘Oh, sì, absolutely. It was so unusual for Sasha to be angry with me, I was sure I was messing everything up monumentally.’ He squeezed Amelia’s thigh. Across the deck, there was movement—Cassidy was setting the table.
‘I don’t know why you left Catarno, but I wonder if the longer you stay away, the harder it’s going to be to go back.’
She bit into her lip, surprised at how the comparison didn’t reassure her. ‘It’s different.’
‘Sure, the circumstances are, but what about the psychology? You’ve been gone over two years. Isn’t that a part of it?’
On some level, he was probably right, but it wasn’t so simple. ‘I never planned to go back.’
‘Never?’
I couldn’t. She was so tempted to tell him the truth, but it was too awful, too shameful. Not just the truth of her parentage, but her idiocy in having shared her discovery with Daniel, putting herself in a position to be blackmailed. She couldn’t allow history to repeat itself. She gulped, physically quashing that temptation, knowing she needed to take control of what was happening between them.
‘I think we should talk about this,’ she said, biting into her lower lip.
‘This?’
‘Us.’
She felt him stiffen and it was all the confirmation she needed that the conversation was imperative.
‘You told me you don’t do relationships.’
‘Sì.’
‘Well, I’m definitely not looking for a relationship either.’ As soon as she said it, she felt the world tilt. It was so important to cling to that, to remind herself of what had happened with Daniel and why she’d been so careful ever since. ‘I don’t want this to get out of hand.’
‘It won’t.’
Her smile was wistful. ‘You sound so confident.’
‘Believe me, cara, as incredible as I find you, I will have no problems walking away from you after the wedding.’
She shivered inwardly. ‘Because you don’t do relationships?’
‘Correct.’
‘How come?’
‘I could ask you the same thing.’
Amelia inhaled quickly. ‘I...’ She hesitated, aware that she was getting dangerously close to confiding in him. But surely she could offer a partial explanation, nothing to do with her mother’s affair, but just a little insight into what had happened with Daniel? ‘I suppose I learned my lesson,’ she said haltingly. His eyes probed her face as he waited for more. Amelia sought the right words. ‘I was dating a guy. I really cared for him; I thought we were in love,’ she said with a lift of one shoulder, tilting her face to study the moon as it brightened in the sky. ‘But he was just using me.’
‘Why do you say that?’ His question was calm and measured, as though drawing the information from her to assess its validity.
‘It became apparent, when we broke up. He—’ she broke off a moment ‘—betrayed my trust, in the worst possible way. It made me doubt everything I knew about everyone. If I could be wrong about Daniel, who was I right about? I thought I knew him,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘I was an idiot.’
‘No,’ Benedetto contradicted. ‘You just trusted the wrong person.’
She grimaced. He made it sound so simple, but it was a mistake that she would have to live with for the rest of her life. She’d never stop worrying about what she’d told Daniel. The power she’d given him to hurt her, and her family, would never go away.
‘I won’t make that mistake again,’ she muttered.
‘So it’s easier to trust no one?’
She turned to face him, eyes unknowingly blanked of emotion, and nodded slowly. ‘It’s easier not to rely on anyone,’ she amended. ‘Whatever this is—’ she gestured from her chest to his ‘—I want us both to be clear: it doesn’t mean anything. It’s not real, and neither of us owes the other anything. Okay?’
CHAPTER SEVEN
