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“Big or small?” Seth asked quietly.
“Big, please.”
His human form disappeared and his panther form hopped up onto the bed. He flopped down with his back to me, head beside mine on the pillow. I reached an arm around his chest and pressed myself closer until there wasn’t an ounce of space between us. Caden re-settled behind me so I was perfectly sandwiched.
The relaxing effect of the ropes and the orgasms had me melting in bliss, the pressure of their bodies protective and cozy, the roots of them twining deeper into me. I fell asleep like that, utter contentment sinking me into the depths.
If the monster didn’t get me, then Logan burrowing into my fur, her naked body only separated from me by a blanket, certainly would. Between that dream and waking up to the scream of pleasure through the bedroom door, I knew without a doubt that I was so completely fucking doomed.
She’d sunk her claws into me so deep I’d be torn apart if she pulled away from me now.
So fucking dumb.
She wasn’t even mine. It was honestly embarrassing that I’d let myself fall for another of Caden’s women. There had to be something wrong with me that I had to self-sabotage like this. The shitty thing about it was that I wanted her even more now. Them calling me in here had kindled some pathetic little flame of hope.
The dream had felt way too real.
Her touch was the same as she pressed close and wrapped herself around me. It replayed over and over in my head.
Thank you, I thought at Caden.
For?
Trusting me to be here. I whipped my tail and flexed my paws. This is nice.
It was more than nice. I hadn’t felt this comfortable in decades. Only a few days around Logan and all my loner tendencies were falling away. I didn’t want to be alone. It was just safer, and, I guess, a form of penance I’d forced on myself. I’d paid it willingly, albeit miserably, for the last sixty-odd years.
Caden didn’t know that. Letting me back in was something I’d never fully expected of him, and even if it was in dire circumstances, I was so fucking grateful that he had.
Logan squeezed me closer, her fingers curling into my fur. She was sound asleep, at least if her breathing was any indication, and it made my heart flip-flop that she reached out while she was vulnerable.
Fuck.
Stop thinking like that.
There was no direction where this ended well. I could try to steal Logan and ruin things for the rest of eternity with Caden. I could leave and find someone else, giving up on ever being able to have something with Caden when I couldn’t control my desire around Logan. I imagined it would only get worse with time. Or I could stick around, pitifully loving her from the sidelines.
...Love.
Brain, you put that fucking thought right back where you found it.
Fuck.
Bad idea. So bad. The literal worst fucking idea. Loving Logan would be agony. I had to scale that slippery slope. It was bad enough when I just wanted to fuck her.
She made a soft little sound and her face rooted against the back of my neck, her cheek rubbing against my fur.
Fuck it all to hell.
I squeezed my eyes shut and they popped right back open when Caden set a hand on my shoulder.
You okay?
Doing super.
Seth…
I’m fine. It’s…
