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“Then I’ll carry you wherever I can, and I’ll make you a saddle so you can ride the rest of the time. But no what ifs. Not yet. Let’s just see what the doctors have to say,” I gently answered and kissed her one more time.
Chapter 32
BRIAR
Not a sound stirred around me except for the rhythmical beeping of the heart monitor beside this hard hospital bed. With Cassidy gone, the stale room dipped cooler, seemed emptier and hollow. The anticipation, knowing that I was about to find out what was going on with my legs, weighed heavily on my heart. TV static zipped up and down my limbs. No matter how much I willed it, concentrating on simply wiggling my toes, nothing happened. There was not a single twitch of muscle indicating that my feet received the message from my brain.
A doorknob clicked, and my gaze shot to the silver knob turning. The doctors were here.
My heart raced in my chest, nausea curling in my throat as a white, scuffed sneaker peaked out beneath purple scrubs.
Not a doctor.
Raising my eyes, I locked sight with a face so eerily similar to what I imagined mine would look like in the future. There it was. All of the features that were not like my father’s staring back at me. Gray eyes, long, blonde hair that swung in a braid to the middle of her back. Tall and thin, with weathered wrinkles outlining her heart-shaped lips.
“Hi, baby,” she whispered.
Tears welled up in my eyes, not from excitement or grief. But from anger. I said nothing and placed my hands on the mattress, scooting myself up into a higher sitting position as the woman who should have been my mother shut the door behind her.
“Cassidy Duke paid me a visit and said you were here,” Laura continued. The soles of her shoes squeaked against the tile, coming in my direction. “He said you wanted to meet me, and I can’t begin to express how grateful and happy—”
“No, you don’t get to come in here and do that,” I cut her off, finally finding my voice. A blazing fire roared in my belly. “You left me and Dad. Twenty-eight years I’ve lived believing that you were dead. Visiting a tombstone that clearly didn’t mark where your body was buried, so I get to ask the questions. And you will answer them. You don’t get a say in how this goes. I do.”
The smile immediately fell from her face. Laura stopped walking and ran her palms over a wrinkle that had sprung in her scrub top. “Fair enough,” she mumbled, offering me a small nod.
I inhaled deeply. Cassidy knew I could do this. I knew I could do this. Hearing what she had to say would give me the closure I sought and provide me with a clear picture on how to handle this stranger who should’ve been a permanent figure in my life growing up.
“Why’d you leave? What woman abandons her newborn baby and husband?” I sharply asked. There would be no pulling punches; she’d lost that respect the moment she up and left.
She blinked rapidly, fighting back the tears of pain and guilt that washed across her face. I felt no remorse, not a single prickle of desire to take back what I said. Slowly, Laura nodded and pushed behind her ear a strand of honey-colored hair that had fallen from her ponytail. “I have no excuse that will ever justify what I did,” she began.
“You’re absolutely right,” I hissed.
She visibly flinched and shot her gaze down to the floor. “I was scared,” she muttered.
“Scared? You left a husband and newborn baby because you were scared?” Unbelievable. “Get out. I don’t want you—”
“I was scared for you!” she quickly interjected, stopping me from kicking her out entirely.
Closing my eyes, Cassidy’s stupidly level-headed voice reminded me to hear her out. Not for her, but for me. “Fine,” I snarled, reconnecting with her fearful gaze. “Explain what you mean.”
Her shoulders fell in relief. “My father, your grandfather, was not a good man. Something as simple as him finding out that Thomas took me on a date set him off. And so, when your dad and I found out I was pregnant with you, I didn’t know what to do. We weren’t married, either, and I was a couple months away from becoming a registered nurse. So, we had a shotgun wedding, hoping that would curb some of the hostility from my father when we decided to announce that I was with child. And then we found out you were going to be a little girl.” Laura’s voice trailed off as she wandered to an empty chair across from the foot of my hospital bed.
Snapping my teeth together, I studied this frail-looking woman as she plopped herself down. Then she continued, “Since I was so young, hiding the pregnancy was easy. Thomas was the best partner, too, making sure that no one had any suspicions. But I was scared, and the closer we got to the due date, Thomas knew how terrified I was becoming. So, he asked if telling my mom would help, which it did… For a little while anyway.”
“Then what? You had me and took off because it protected you from pain that would come from this apparently horrible dad of yours?” I jabbed.
She sighed. “That was part of it. But I was mainly terrified he’d hurt you too. He had no care for women, including my mom. She tried to leave once, which nearly got her killed, so she stayed. It was the best she could do to protect me at the time. She wanted better for me—and for you—and had an idea. Since she was a nurse at the hospital I’d be giving birth at, she could help me escape. If everyone believed that I was dead, then my father would never know about you and never be able to hurt you or hurt me again.”
Stitching my brows together, I shook my head. “How in the world was that the best option? What about Dad? You could’ve stayed, and he would’ve protected you!”
“It wasn’t that simple, Briar,” she defensively said, and I shook my head.
“How was it not? You chose running away over staying and fighting! Something that I suddenly am clearly aware of where I get it from. Something that I’m working to be better about not doing every day.”
“Please, Briar, I’m trying to—”
“No. You don’t get to try and justify why you did what you did. I said you could explain what happened. That’s it. I get to ask the questions. So, you decided to fake your death because you had a mean dad that you wanted to protect me from. How’d you do it?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest.
