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I nodded yes again.
“Well, which is it, Goldie? ’Cause you’re wearing my hat. You actively chose to take it from me and put it on. So, I need to know, do you—”
“It means nothing!” I suddenly screeched, spun around, ripped his hat off of my head, and shoved it against his chest. He stumbled back, catching his felt cowboy hat just as I let go and quickly sprinted away from the bleachers.
I didn’t look back as I rushed around the edge of the stadium, fumbling my way through the parking lot, back to his truck. Once again, I’d left a very confused Cassidy. How long would he really wait for me to figure my feelings out? Okay, so maybe I’d figured them out. But there was more to it, and I was trying, really trying, but he scared me in so many different ways.
It was terrifying to me how safe he felt. Even more frightened by the passion that he seemed to possess. I was afraid by how calm and casual he always seemed, and hated how much I wanted to know exactly who he was and what he wanted in life.
He intimidated me.
No man had ever been so upfront in his feelings for me but also respectful. I was in charge of this entire situation after he’d recognized how overwhelmed I was. There was a huge part of me that didn’t like it. That hated the fact that me, someone with zero experience in how to handle this type of situation, was the one in charge. He seemed like such a natural leader, someone who just always knew what to do and would make sure it got done.
Why couldn’t he take charge now? Or was that exactly what he had just done?
Slapping a hand against my chest, I pounded, urging my lungs to work. Oxygen was needed to clear the befuddlement in my mind. Especially since deep down, I was disappointed with myself for giving his hat back—for ignoring what I’d just done.
Tears slipped down my cheeks. I’d ruined the night. A wonderful night that had me forgetting everything was messed up by my impulsive decision.
Boots crunching across gravel met my ears, and I quickly wiped the tears staining my cheeks away. Glancing up from the dirt, I watched as Cassidy casually sauntered along the path, inching closer to the back of the truck.
His eyes were trained to the ground, and he had his hands stuffed in his pockets. I wasn’t sure what that look on his face was, but it wasn’t what I’d expected. Disappointment had been my first assumption in how he’d feel, but no. He wasn’t bummed out.
Instead, he seemed more confused and…ashamed?
That was what it was. Guilt. But it didn’t seem like he was feeling guilty for what I’d done, but something else entirely.
And I turned away, leaning against the passenger door of his truck. Was I holding him to a past that he shouldn’t have to atone for?
I wanted him. There was no denying that anymore, especially since all these feelings returned after making sure we weren’t spending time together. All of this was so confusing. I wasn’t supposed to have found romance. Not right now, not with everything else going on.
Or maybe that meant this was the perfect time.
Chapter 20
CASSIDY
I couldn’t blame her for any of her reactions. Not only was she rather innocent in her ways of relationships and men, but I was not exactly one with an easy past to accept. Her whiplash attitude was my fault, and one I was owed, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. Her taking and wearing my hat but then giving it back didn’t bother me; what bothered me was the fact that my past actions were making things so difficult for her in regard to how she felt about me.
And now she was nothing but sad again. Briar leaned her head against the window as we slowly lugged down the road. Rodeo hadn’t even finished and I’d screwed it up.
I should’ve just taken the hat without saying anything. I bet that would’ve kept her from feeling overwhelmed again. What proof did she have that she could trust I wasn’t the man I was years ago? None. She had none.
She had at least believed me when I’d told her I hadn’t flirted back to those two girls. If only she’d come looking a little sooner, she would’ve seen the twelve different older ladies stop me instead of two women I’d been on a date with before. Older grandmas were harmless, those girls weren’t. At least not in her eyes. Which was completely fair.
I glanced over at her as another tear slid down her cheek. I wanted so desperately to reach over and comfort her, to wipe it away, but it was not my place, so I steadily drove us on through town.
“Can I finish the story?” she suddenly said, her voice quiet.
“The story?” I hesitantly asked.
Briar pushed off from the window and nodded. “About the day you helped out Rooney.”
“Oh,” I muttered and looked back out the front of the truck. What this had to do with our current situation, I had no idea, but I mean, if that helped her, then why not?
“Please,” she whispered.
“Why now?”
