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I don’t take another breath until the bathroom door closes behind me. Thankfully, there’s an empty stall and I hurry inside and turn the lock. It’s the first time all evening that I’ve felt safe.
My mind is a jumble of confusion. I don’t know what to do.
I know I’ve started to feel things for both of them. I certainly crave their touch. Their protectiveness makes me feel safe.
What am I going to do?
This is a recipe for disaster.
It takes me a few minutes to regain my composure. Finally, I feel like I’m in control enough to leave. I exit the stall, moving to the sink to wash my hands. I’m so focused on my task that I don’t immediately notice the woman next to me until she clears her throat.
“Oh, hi,” I say, looking up to see Antonia sneering down at me.
She steps forward, her heels clacking on the tile floor.
“You’re a whore, just like your mother,” she says, matter-of-factly, as she reapplies her red lipstick in the mirror. “Did she teach you all her tricks?” She smacks her lips together and pulls back, pleased with her appearance.
“Those boys might use what you have to offer, but you’ll never be more than their little plaything. By the time they are done with you, you’ll be used up and worthless. Hell, they may even give you to their men.” She turns to face me. “That’s what happens to girls like you. Little opportunists who think they can rise above the dirt they were born in. You’re good for one thing and one thing only honey, and they don’t have a long attention span. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
I stare at her in shock. Anger bubbles in my chest.
I want to lash out – to tell her she’s wrong. But I choke down the words. I won’t give her the satisfaction.
Sure enough, when I’m silent, her features tighten - her beautiful face looking grotesque.
“They’ll never choose you.” She says, darkly. “Neither of them. My father will make sure of it.”
I shrug and wash my hands. I know my plan is working when she huffs angrily and bumps my shoulder as she pushes past.
I wait to exhale until I hear the door swing shut behind the click of her heels.
My insecurities come rushing at me like a tidal wave as her words repeat over and over in my head.
I lean over the sink, clutching the porcelain like a lifeline. As much as I try, I can’t stop the tears. Once I start, they come hard and fast.
My tears have completely ruined my makeup, making me look just as pathetic as I feel.
I wipe at my face, trying to fix it, but I only succeed in making my cheeks look raw and red.
Just great.
In a last-ditch effort to save my appearance, I splash some cold water on my face, and hope for the best.
I look like I’ve been crying. They’re going to be able to tell. My shoulders shudder a little bit but I sigh and push out the door.
Jimmy catches me almost immediately when I rejoin the party. He comes rushing over, concern etched on his face.
“Hey,” he says as I head back to the table, grabbing my hand. “You alright?” He asks.
He tugs my hand and I realize that he’s leading me away from the direction of the tables.
I glance over my shoulder, hoping to see Enzo or Nico come for me, but they don’t. I don’t see them anywhere.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say quietly since he’s not listening anyway. “Someone just said something mean in the bathroom.” I add, admitting the truth.
“That’s because they’re jealous.” He states this, matter-of-factly.
I smile despite myself, and he catches it.
