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He leans over, buries his hand in my hair, and cups my ear. “Don’t be stupid, eighty. Just because you’ve gotten to me doesn’t mean you’ll get to him. Just drop it.”
I wish I could. I wish I didn’t care. But I can’t and I do.
This desire to connect with Kane goes beyond wanting to save my life. I’ve gotten close to Tobin and Jax, and while they’re their own people, they’re also part of Kane. I’m falling for them, and Kane is part of that package. Is it so bad to want him to want me?
Then a little voice pipes up in my head, reminding me that yes, it’s pretty bad to want him to want me, especially after seeing that body in the trailer.
“Why does he kill women?” I ask.
A deep laugh rumbles inside Tobin’s chest. “Because he hates them.”
“I’ve figured out that much, Sherlock. But why? What happened to him?”
Tobin sobers now, the smile sliding from his face. “I’ve told you it’s not anything you need to know. Why are you so stubborn?”
I grip his hand and look into his eyes. “Please, Tobin. Help me understand him.”
He shakes his head and looks away. “He’s been hurt pretty badly. He endured a lot of abuse from women who were supposed to protect him.”
“Sexual abuse?”
“I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”
“I understand him more than you realize,” I say. “I was assaulted when I was in college.”
I tell my story for the second time, and it hurts a little less than it did before. Tobin’s jaw clenches and unclenches, and his eyes remain trained to the floor. When I finish, he looks up at me.
“You are so strong,” he says, “but telling you what happened to Kane is a risk I can’t take. That strong part of you is still embedded in who you are. Kane lacks that. That’s where Jax and I come in. If Kane knew what happened to him, if he was forced to face it...”
“You’re afraid I’ll tell him and risk all of you?”
He blows out a breath. “I need a minute.” He stands and walks to the front of the truck, then steps outside, leaving me on the bed.
It turns out Kane and I may have more in common than I thought, but I can’t do anything with that information. Despite Tobin’s fear, despite knowing that breaking Kane could save me in the end, I won’t risk Jax or Tobin. Though I don’t fully understand why, I’m unwilling to risk Kane as well.
A few minutes later, the driver’s door opens and Tobin takes a seat behind the wheel. Or I think it’s Tobin until he turns to me and says, “Buckle up, dropout. We have to take care of that body.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kane
After checking my GPS, I spot a lonely stretch of road devoid of houses or farmland. Technology has become a double-edged sword; it sometimes catches men like me in a web, but it can also make finding remote areas a breeze. I turn out of the rest area and head toward the spot I’ve marked on the map.
The rear of the cab is quiet for once, which makes me uncomfortable. I’ve grown used to the girl’s incessant talking, and the lack of that noise unnerves me now. I won’t go so far as to say I enjoy it, but it’s like running a box fan in your bedroom during the dead of winter. Sometimes the right kind of noise provides a bit of comfort, even if it adds to your discomfort in other ways.
I look over my shoulder and see her on the bed. Rather, I see her legs. The upper half of her body hides behind the partially outstretched curtain. Something about her body language makes my heart sore, and it’s a feeling I neither like nor want to feel. Then I realize it’s not my emotion. This is something Jax and Tobin feel.
Why?
It doesn’t matter why, because you don’t care about the whore.
Now I feel stupid for wishing I could hear her voice. It was never my wish to begin with. It’s emotional bleed-through, which isn’t something that happens very often for us. My inability to realize that—my inability to recognize their emotions as separate from my own—only shows just how damaged our compartments have become. Our ship is sinking, and the water has begun to breach our hull.
I have to get rid of this girl as soon as possible.
“Come on, dropout, let’s bury that body,” I say as I pull the truck to a stop. “I need to get the old girl cleaned before we pick up that load.”
This body should have been buried several state lines ago. Pick up one, hold her until I kill her, bury her a state or two over. That’s always been my plan. Taking Aurora fucked up everything, but I have to clean that trailer and provide proof to the distributor before I arrive to pick up the load. No one wants to put their perishables beside a dead fucking body.
