Page 104 of The Dom with a Safeword

“I…I didn’t know.” Tears flowed down her cheeks, forming a wet pool on the pillow. “I don’t know if I’m bi or straight or lesbian or asexual…” She snorted a silly, tearful laugh. “And I don’t really care. I just…I want to go back to the way things were. Before Jude left.” She couldn’t stand facing away anymore – she needed to see Q, to see her face. Carefully, so she didn’t shake the bed too much, she rolled to her other side.

Q was there, with big watery blue eyes. Sabrina smiled and placed her forehead against hers. “I want to be your girlfriend again. And I want to be your sub. Your little girl.”

Q’s hand came up and wiped the falling tears from her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Q.” Her tears came faster. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I didn’t know. I thought I knew what I wanted but…” She had to pause because she was sobbing so hard. “Please say you forgive me.”

“Shh.” Q petted her head. “Of course I forgive you.”

“And…and…” Dear god she was blubbering like a baby. “And you’ll be my girlfriend again?”

She frowned and dropped her gaze. “Sabrina, I…” Her expression told of a war going on inside her head. “I know you say you love me, but…”

“You don’t love me back?”

Q shook her head. “No. Never that. I always loved you, Sabrina. It was just hard living with you when I couldn’t show it.”

She slowed down her sobs and took a few deep breaths. “It was awful!”

“Yes. So you know it’s hard for me to believe you love me. To take that risk again.”

Sabrina nodded and bit down on her lip. “I know. But I’ll do anything to prove it to you. You’ll see.”

“You’ve done a lot tonight. I’m sorry I dragged you into that. I didn’t mean for my –”

“Stupid act of recklessness,” she filled in for her.

Q gave her a small smile. “Yes. That. I didn’t mean for it to affect you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Well, you did.” She looked over her best friend’s face – which used to be familiar but now seemed so strange. “And so does all this…punk, goth, whatever you call it stuff.” She pointed to her hair then the piercings.

“You don’t like my new look? And here I thought you were tired of black.”

“It’s fine if you’re going to wear blue shirts from now on. But if you keep wearing black, you’ll always clash.”

Q laughed. “Funny girl. I’ll dye it back if you want me to. But there’s still one thing I have to know before we go any further.”

“What?” Sabrina froze. She really couldn’t take much more tonight.

Q smirked. “You really think you might be asexual?”

A big snort escaped her and they both giggled. Then they held each other, runny noses, tears and all, until the sun came up the next morning.

Chapter 20

Sabrina

The smell of sautéed onions filled the small kitchen, bringing a smile to Sabrina’s face. Q stood in front of the sizzling pan, stirring the onions with a wooden spoon. Sabrina was giving her a cooking lesson. And so far, it wasn’t going too badly.

“That’s good for now, Q. Slice the peppers and we’ll add those next.”

Sabrina moved to the other counter and unwrapped the sausage then started to cut it into round pieces. “So I made a lunch date with my mom. I’m going to start dropping hints about us.” She glanced at Q, trying to gauge her reaction. “No, no, no!” She took the knife out of Q’s hand with a sigh. “Lengthwise. Like this.” She flipped the pepper around and cut a few pieces to show her.

Q rolled her eyes but copied her instructions.

Sabrina smirked. “You need lessons on being a girl.”

“I thought you liked me the way I am.”