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Once inside her rooms she stripped off the dress and had another shower, a very long, hot one. Then she checked herself below for damage using a hand mirror. She’d had sex for the first time, but it had most definitely not been her fantasy lover.
“A mauleon.” She leaned her head into the bathroom wall and with her fist beat the wall, lightly. “What have I done?”
The armored suit lay on the hallway floor where she’d dropped it. It smelled of him, still, and she had to stop herself from raising it to her nose and sniffing.
Sassi walked in, his old joints creaking, as she was lifting the suit with her toe. The teensy pink night shift she’d donned at least made her feel innocent. The shift didn’t know what she’d done, who she’d let inside her. The dress and the red cloak he’d given her she left hanging over a chair, undecided on what to do with them.
“A mauleon.” Again she shook her head.
“May I help you, miss?” Sassi focused his auxiliary eye stalks on the suit. “It appears you met with some resistance? A fight? I see you are mostly undamaged however.”
“Mostly?” She looked at her arms and hands.
“There are a few scratches and I noticed a bruise on your bottom as you walked naked in the bathroom.”
“Oh.” Calli sucked at the inside of her cheek. That spanking. The memory inserted itself into her mind, front and center. In spite of the pain, it had made her hornier, which was ridiculous.
On second thoughts, had that been his intention?
“No lacerations or penetration wounds so I’m sure you’ll be fine!”
The cheerfulness of that statement, combined with the word penetration, startled her. She picked up the suit and stared at it, certain her face was bright red. Blushing was a weakness she wished would vanish. “Get this cleaned and repaired for me, Sassi.”
“Would you like a hug, miss? You look lost and sad. Though my facial expression library may have corrupted.”
“Oh, Sassi.” Her lip trembled. Though none of this was her fault, what she’d done was still bad.
On an immorality scale of one to fifty it ranked up there, high. Like... at fifty-one.
Why was she so horrified by what she’d done with Drake? She tried to see this without emotional filters.
She’d thought herself pro-mauleon. Was it the interspecies thing? Or was it her reasons for giving in to him, for spreading her legs as one might vulgarly say. Was it the way he made her submit? Was it just that she’d had sex and it had been so disgustingly... messy? Maybe it was all of those.
Damnation. She was too upset to figure it out.
She wandered forward into Sassi’s metal arms and received a very hard hug.
“There, there, miss. All will be fine. Is there anyone you need me to damage?”
Calli snorted and backed out of the bot’s arms. “Thank you, but no. I think any of my current enemies would turn you into a wall ornament, Sassi.”
“One never knows until one tries.”
“Mmm.” No penetration. So untrue. “I need to do some research on mauleons, on their biology and, umm, sex. Do you know if the palace library has anything relevant?”
“I’m sure it does. I will find out and bring you any such volumes. A late supper or a very early breakfast on the balcony also, miss? There is some sort of violence in the city below you might wish to watch. Firefights in district twelve, nineteen, and probably three-one also.”
What? It had worsened? Mouth open, she looked to the direction of the city, though there were walls in the way. Any fires would be easy to see since dawn was a couple of hours away. “I will have some food outside. Yes. And read too, if you find anything.”
She sprinted to the doors leading onto her private balcony then slowed, trailing past the white metal table and cushioned chairs to the railing. Only a dim lantern lit her way. A small war was happening below, just as Sassi had said.
“What have we done,” she said under her breath.
District three-one was the army barracks but the rest were civilian suburbs.
Smoke rose in flame-lit wisps and billows, and the crack and boom of weaponry echoed. The sky already showed some paleness. Dawn must be nearer than she thought. How long had she walked? Places that should have been lit up were dark; some areas flickered out as she watched. Whether due to power interruptions or people wishing to make themselves less visible, she didn’t know.
This was her partly her fault. He’d launched this to stop the general. People were dying and some might be her friends.
