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She swallowed but only gave her head a miniscule shake. I lifted her head with a hold on her jaw and made her shuffle around on her knees. “I’m remembering how you smiled when you obeyed me.”
She shut her eyes.
“Look at me.” Those green-gray irises had me in an instant. There were traces of tears but I traced slowly around her lips, refusing to soften my decision. “Do you like being where you are?”
Chapter 22
The question he was asking went straight to the heart of my problem. He wanted me to admit I liked being here, at his feet? I was on my knees, stinging from his blows, reminded of how easily he could overwhelm me, both terrified and turned on. I welcomed the pain because it was his pain.
So fucked up.
I’d fought off this weird influence he had on me. Being made to face it again was wrong. He was nothing like the paragon of virtue I’d long ago imagined my shining knight would be or the man I’d fall in love with.
I’d said yes before, to almost the same question, and he’d used it as an excuse for this. It’d be stupid to fall into the same trap.
“Answer me. With the truth. Or do I have to spank it out of you?”
I widened my eyes. “No!”
“The truth. I will know if you lie.”
He couldn’t, but with his hand under my chin, my hands tied behind me, and with him pinning me with his dark eyes, I accepted that I liked this. And I would never tell him that again. The only knight he could ever be was one in dirty armor.
He wasn’t for me. Ever.
“Answer.”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head very deliberately.
His fingers crushed in until my skin hurt where he pressed it onto my jaw and I winced.
“You’re a stubborn bitch.” Pieter straightened but brought his forefinger to the center of my forehead. “I’m not Gregor. I won’t torture you to get results.”
I dared to let a smile creep onto my lips.
“Oh, I would torture you but just because I want to see you wriggle more when you come.”
Pieter torturing me...the many ways he might do that flowed into my head. A thrill washed through me and I felt myself dampen between my legs.
“I’m getting to know you, meisie. That turned you on, hmm?”
Shocked, I mouthed a no, and tried to crawl backward. His hand raked into my hair and halted me.
“You are lying. I bet I could slip inside you and fuck you like a jackhammer right now and you’d love it. You’d squirt all over the floor because, even if you won’t say it, you love being on your knees and you are a pain slut, my pain slut.”
All through his little speech, I was increasingly trying to shake my head.
“I don’t know why you’re so fucking stubborn but lying earns punishment. When the storm comes back, I will hold you if you want me to, but nothing more. You tell me the fucking truth. We’re here.” He swept out his other arm. “In the middle of Hell and you want to lie over something that you enjoy? And all I can think is that I’m not worthy of you. Well fok jou, to the end of bloody time. I will be your protector and make you submit to me when I want to, but do not expect friendship.”
Tears were flowing by then and my chest seemed to have cracked right down the very middle. It was me who was unworthy. I knew it. I hurt and I was confused and I felt so bad about deceiving him that my head was a whirling muddle. But I would not let go. This was me we were talking about and he had no right to do this.
He reached and yanked at the zip of his pants, then shoved the pants down until his cock swung free.
Damn.
I knew what he intended and couldn’t help staring. For ages I didn’t blink or breathe. An erection always intimidated me because once I saw it, there was only one thing the man wanted to do to me.
In the past, I’d dithered, debated, found other things to do. Sex was like a haunted playground, but this man made me. That was the beautiful difference. That he wanted me so much he would make me do it. I’d always seen my boyfriends as wimps when they backed away.
