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“Yes.”
“Good.”
My thoughts tracked sideways. I needed hope but, oh my, if I wrote an exposé about this place, if we escaped, would it bring him down too?
I shook myself. Of all the things to worry about.
What a beautifully constructed man he was.
Even as I trailed my way along, from those biceps you could bounce a bullet off, to the thickness of his shoulders, to his small smile, I knew a truth. He wasn’t for me. I wasn’t for him. Some people were as opposite as the arctic and the middle of the sun. Sure, he could make me come a zillion times while he worked his magic with pain, and that had been such a revelation. But in my life? Mr. Let me hold you still while I fuck you and beat you? He adored pain. He killed without looking back.
Me, I could barely squash a cockroach.
I’d be more likely to invite a serial murderer to my bed. Ice trickled in my veins. For all I knew, he was one.
How many women had been through here and sold off as slaves? Too many. There was no doubt in me – given the chance for revenge by my usual means, the power of the word, I’d do it. Whether it hurt him or not.
Escape. Please let it be so.
He nestled his hands at my waist.
Accompanied by the bone-deep throb of bruises and the sting, that touch seemed to affirm some connection between us. Wrong. My pussy clenched. Stupid female reaction. I held my breath, resisting.
The intensity in his gaze added to his hold, as if he claimed me. What big brown eyes you have, sir. I shivered. The familiar pull and push. Running backwards until I hit the wall wrestled with staying in his hands.
I took a controlled yet ragged breath. Time to reclaim some me. “Let go. Please.”
When he did so I felt lighter, relieved, and bereft.
Chapter 19
If she wanted distance right now, I would give it to her even though every instinct in me said to give her a big hug. I wasn’t sure how she was even standing. She swayed as I looked at her. For a little librarian, she had strength in her, down deep, where it counted. Some of the men I’d worked and fought with could’ve learned from her. She bounced when others would shatter.
Me...I’d left bruises on Elenor but she’d wanted them. Disgust was too good a word for me, except when I remembered how I’d felt then, in the moment.
It wasn’t surprising she was confused since I’d totally fucked over my own head.
I’d never had a high like yesterday and I’d never before felt so destroyed after an S and m session, or whatever you called what we’d done. Abuse, probably. Guess this was karma’s retribution.
“Think they’ll bring us breakfast soon?” She fiddled with her fingers as if nervous. “It’s crazy, but I’m starving.”
“I hope so. You need it. They left you a dress.” I fetched the little blue scrap of cloth from the bottom of the bed. The sheets were spotted with her blood. “I suppose you think you can get this on without help? It’s going to hurt you.”
“Yes. I’ll do it.” She put out her hand.
Ja. Stubborn, but it was her call.
With the iodine on the scratches, she was a spotty patchwork of orange-brown, red, blue, and pale skin, as well as the darker triangle reappearing at the juncture of her thighs.
Of course, if they’d given her a razor, I’d have fashioned a weapon from it.
I saw more than bruises.
The curl of her ear enticed me, as did the delicate pout of her lip, the sadness in her eye and the sensual curve of her breasts. I was getting a little lost in admiring her and I realized that I wanted her to want me to touch her and in more than a purely sexual way. More than a “let’s have a comforting hug” way. I wanted to find out who she really was.
She shook out the dress and turned away from me, as if uncomfortable with me watching.
Before I could be some creepy admirer, I needed to fix what was wrong and get us out. I didn’t look away. That quirky inclination to see her as mine tainted things. What did it matter when next time in the Room I could do what I liked?
