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Her lips twitched. “I can’t believe I let you do all that.”
That little squirm she did with her butt reminded me of her squirms last night.
“Hmm?” I figured she needed some space to think.
“I mean, I know some people like pain but that’s never been me.” She shook her head and toyed with my chest hair.
I thumbed the frown lines between her eyes. “Did you like it?”
The red blush that swept onto her face was cute. Still embarrassed, after all we’d done?
It took her a few swallows and head shakes before she met my eyes. “I guess...yes. I even wanted more.”
“So you wanted what I gave you?”
“It was...” She looked like she didn’t believe her own words. “Incredible. But that wasn’t...normal, was it?”
“Normal? My view – it’s normal for you. Everyone, I’ve found, has some sort of weird kink inside them. Though not everyone lets their freak flag fly.”
I shifted my arm down to gently smooth my palm across her ass. That squirm again. I must’ve touched somewhere sore. “If I can’t fuck you, is it a crime to want to keep feeling you up?”
Jazmine studied me for a long while before answering. “No. I guess not.”
An iffy reply if I ever heard one. Though I could see she’d been thinking about what had happened, I hadn’t a clue as to what exactly those thoughts had been. “What are you thinking?”
“That...” She put her hands up and covered her face then breathed into them. “God. I don’t know. This is such an insane situation. I guess, I don’t even know if I’m going to be alive tomorrow and this is just crazy.”
“Uh huh.” Gently I pulled away her hands. There were tears beneath her eyes. “Keep going.”
“Keep going?” She nodded, half to herself. “You’re pretty scary, you know, though I hate admitting it, even if it’s fucking obvious. I’m not a naive innocent, though. I know what BDSM is. And...I really have never wanted a man to...”
And there she stopped.
“Dominate you? Hurt you?” I raised my eyebrows and wiped away some of those quiet tears.
“Yes. It worries me that this is all because of what you did to me before, in front of...him. You know? This might be just some weird psychological thing?”
Talk about a difficult question.
“I don’t know. What I do know is I want to get you out of this.”
“Mmm. Yeah. That goes for both of us.”
“Good.” I pulled her close and kissed her, long and thoroughly until she was sighing. My leg ended up wrapped over her. Maybe if I tried I could make her part of me, make her so mine no one could separate us. I pressed my mouth against her forehead, thinking, hoping, trying not to despair.
“Pieter?”
I pulled back. “Yes?”
“You said you used to give your wife pain? So, she liked it? The same as...” Her lips twisted.
“You? Seems to me that talking about this is more painful than me beating your ass. Maybe we should go back to that?” A man could hope.
She snorted. “It’s hard to get my head around. That I liked you going all cave man on me.”
“I didn’t go all cave man. That’s just me. I let it out around you because you respond to it so fucking nicely. I enjoy it. So do you. Yes, my ex-wife liked being hurt and she’s a masochist. No, I didn’t go cave man on her if you’re wondering because that wasn’t something she liked. We were close to equals in the bedroom. You however, seem to love being my sub.”
I grabbed her and rolled over so she was under me.
