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The man lasted another day before I stopped hearing him.
They let me see Pieter, a day after that. Fifteen minutes together, just long enough to say hello and sit on the bed to talk a little. After my denial of needing a hug, Pieter gave up. I asked and found out that polisman meant policeman in New Guinea pidjin language.
“If we’re lucky,” Pieter said, “that may come back to bite him. Cops don’t like their own being killed, and if they find out what’s happened, this place will be shut down, no matter who’s been bribed.
I nodded. That any police would overlook what went on here was appalling. I didn’t hold much hope of anything coming of this. “Have you found a way to escape?” I asked, leaning in and saying it softly.
“No. Not yet.”
On Saturday afternoon, Gregor arrived to tell me Pieter was coming to see me. I couldn’t help but smile at the announcement.
He smiled back in the biggest, broadest smile I’d yet seen on his face. Cold crept up my spine. “It is good to see you happy. Tomorrow too, you have another date with our client and your Pieter.” Then he left and the locks on the door clicked.
Happy? If you ever saw an evil clown with its makeup off, I was sure it would look like Gregor. Whatever Scandinavian country he came from, the crime rate probably dropped a hundred percent the year he left.
It took me a while to remember to breathe.
The small fat lizard that had made a home of my room skittered across the wall on the other side of the door. At night it arrived to eat the flying bugs that battered themselves against the light on the ceiling. If only I could walk on the ceiling like it could.
I didn’t like it when Gregor was happy.
When Pieter arrived he didn’t look at me. The guards left and his manacles were removed via the hatch. I shifted over on the bed to give him room, feeling as if I was inviting over my executioner. The air seemed stiff and filled with prickling tension.
He slouched on the bed and half-turned to study me in that under-the-brow way of his, then he searched for my hand with his own.
I tucked mine in my lap, shook my head. “What is it? Tell me. I know about tomorrow.”
“They’ve given me an ultimatum...again. I have to hurt you tomorrow. Give them a show, and I have to do it worse than last time.
I didn’t have the words. I shook my head again and mouthed a no.
His eyes were kind and he looked at me as if to see if I had something to say before he continued. “I believe I can do this in a way that won’t be as bad as you think. I can lessen the pain.”
Frantic, I watched his face for some clue. “How? You have a drug I can take?” Unwanted tears dribbled from my eyes and I swiped at them. “I don’t want to be horribly maimed.” I almost asked him to kill me. “I’ve seen what happened to that policeman. Gregor cut pieces off him. Don’t you ever do that to me.”
His Adam’s apple moved in a quiet swallow. “I wouldn’t, Jazmine. No matter what. I want to get you out of here, alive, intact.”
Intact sounded so clinical, but I clutched at the hope.
“Can you?”
“Not yet. I’m working on it.”
“Oh.”
This time when he took my hand, I let him. The squeeze on my fingers made me look up.
“So. What do you mean by lessen the pain then?”
“It’s what I did for Elenor. She liked pain but mixed with pleasure. I think if I do the same for you, it’ll not hurt as much.”
Uh. I blinked, sniffed away the tears. “You mean sexual pleasure, don’t you?”
“Yes.” He squeezed my hand tighter. “They want me to have sex with you anyway. Whoever is paying for this wants you humiliated as well as hurt. But, to me, it’s not that – humiliation. So it shouldn’t be to you either. Keep that in your head. You’re beautiful and I’m not fucking...doing this to shame you.”
Did him thinking I was pretty make a difference when everyone was watching?
I was going to die inside, but if he didn’t perform as they said, Gregor would do it worse. Maybe use his scalpel. “I can take it. I’m strong. This won’t get to me.”
