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“Bren!” I kneel over him and look into his face. All the air leaves my lungs. He is deathly pale and his eyes are closed. Cold fear fills my heart.
“Bren, are you okay?” My cheeks are still wet from the tears I just cried and, shaking, I hold a hand over his mouth and nose.
Breathe! Please breathe!
Agonizing seconds elapse before I feel the gentle moist breath of air on my palm. A tremor shakes my body. He’s alive! But he may be injured, maybe even seriously.
“Bren?” I gently touch his temple with my fingertips. He’s probably unconscious or has a concussion. As smoothly as I can, I turn his head to the side with unsteady hands, checking for external wounds, feeling for the dampness of blood because it’s much darker here in the forest than on the hill where the tracks run.
A spot on the back of his head is warm and damp. “Damn it!” I frantically search my jacket for a handkerchief, find one, and press it against the injury.
“Bren?” He doesn’t move. I feel the panic rising inside me, but I can’t cry anymore. I’m far too horrified, adrenaline pumping through my veins like a stimulant.
Open your eyes! Please, please, open your eyes! Tell me you’re okay! If I hadn’t climbed onto the roof, Bren wouldn’t be lying here. It’s my fault! Yet again!
“Bren, can you hear me?” I hurriedly remove my down jacket and cover Bren with it. He mustn’t freeze under any circumstances, that I remember from last summer.
Think, Lou! What else do you have to do?
My head is a mess, full of guilt and fear. I’ll check his bleeding head injury again, but it’s not the biggest problem. What if he has internal injuries or a fractured skull? I don’t know how he fell or what he struck on impact. I feel sick to my stomach and my hands are shaking so much, I can hardly do anything with them. First, I wrestled the promise from him, then in the end, it might be why I lose him.
I bend over him in a panic, feeling his pulse. It is barely detectable it is so weak. Oh, no! Tears stream out of my eyes until blinded by the tears, I can hardly see anything anymore.
“Bren, can you hear me?” I try again, but he doesn’t move. He lies on the ground as if dead, pale and rigid. I take the down jacket and stuff it under his feet so they’re higher than his heart. “Please, wake up!” I want to scream for help until someone comes, but who would hear me here? Besides, then we would be discovered, which would be disastrous if Bren woke up right away and maybe wasn’t hurt so bad after all. My mind races. I jump up, wipe the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand, and take in our surroundings. I don’t see much. To my left is the steep slope and to my right a forest with tall black firs. A fierce wind moves through the dark treetops, making them howl like a pack of wolves.
Like a pack of wolves!
I wince. Grey! Oh my God, he’s still on the train! My heart almost stops. I can’t believe it. Grey is still on the car, waiting for us to come back!
I put my hands in front of my face. The second backpack is also nowhere to be found. My legs buckle under me and I throw up as I always do when I’m upset. I retch until my stomach is a rock-hard knot and I spit green bile. When I’m finished, I wipe my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater and kneel next to Bren again. Horrifying visions of people who have forgotten everything and do not recognize anyone after deep unconsciousness flood my mind. Maybe he’s in a coma? In my imagination, I see him dying here in the forest and me having to walk alone along the rails back toward civilization, my heart so heavy that I don’t care if the next train catches me and knocks me off my feet.
I stroke his face again and again. “You promised not to leave me,” I sob dryly. “Open your eyes, please!”
This time he actually blinks. “Lou?” His eyes search for me in the darkness.
“Bren!” Tears of relief fill my eyes. He woke up and he recognizes me!
“Ah…” A pained groan escapes his lips. “Lou—are you all right?”
I would love to slap him just for fun, I’m so happy and perplexed. How can he ask about me when he’s the one almost going comatose in front of me? “I’m fine!” I say shakily.
“But you’re crying!”
More and more tears stream down my cheeks. “I thought you were dying!” I sob. “Oh, God, Bren, I was so scared!”
“Oh, Lou!” Bren looks at me and I lean in closer. A brief smile crosses his pale face, but then it immediately turns into a pained grimace.
“Where are you hurt?”
“It’s nothing.” He tries to sit up but falls back with an agonized gasp.
It physically hurts to see him in this condition.
“It’s my fault,” I say miserably, trying to blink away the tears. Maybe he has broken bones.
“It’s okay, Lou.” He leans on his elbows, tries to push himself up, and this time manages to raise his torso. His eyes flicker.
“Should I help you?”
