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Well, I hope Josie’s ready for this next level.
I glance at my fake girlfriend. The expression on her face... she doesn’t seem ready.
Fuck.
She seems like she’s going to throw up.
“Nice to meet you, too,” I say, shaking Van’s hand in my calm and professional way.
The journalist immediately turns to the terrified-looking Josie. It’s clear Van is a pro at all this. It’s her natural element, interviewing celebrities - figuring out their weak points. Securing the all-important gossip that’s going to sell magazines and make a viral post online.
“You must be Josie...”
“Yep.”
Damn, my fake girlfriend really looks sick.
“I’ll tell you how today is going to go. I’m going to be asking you questions whilst my photographer takes photos,” Van tells her. “Pretty easy and simple, right?”
“Yes.”
“Good. You ready?”
I watch my fake girlfriend as she listens intently. She doesn’t want to let me down. She takes a moment to respond.
“Yep.”
“Great,” Van says with a heavy dollop of forced enthusiasm. “Let’s get started, shall we?”
“This is the first interview you two have had together, is that right?”
Josie and I both answer, at the same time, in the affirmative.
We’re standing in front of Van and her photographer – who seems to be floating around the entire room with his camera and taking a million snaps a minute – with the backdrop of the trendy abandoned warehouse behind us. By the way we are standing, it feels like we’ve been set up in front of a firing squad.
“And I must say,” Van continues, “that Josie, you look beautiful. Don’t you think, Victor?”
I smile.
“Yes, she is.”
I’ve had media training. I know what to say and don’t say in situations like these. I know how I am supposed to act.
But not Josie.
The poor girl has to do this completely vulnerable. I can practically feel her terror lingering over us like a dark cloud.
“How is it?” Van asks, very deliberately targeting my fake girlfriend.
“How is what?” the barista asks.
Fuck. She’s spluttering.
“How is dating the most eligible bachelor in the world?” Van asks again, still with that enthusiastic plastic media way, despite having to repeat herself.
Josie blushes and stammers out some half-baked answer. It isn’t good. It isn’t even newsworthy in that kind of cringe, embarrassing way.
What have I done?
