AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘And when is the wedding anyway? Have they decided yet?’
‘I’ve told you already. December next year at the MacLeods’ castle. And the MacLeods have their own tartan. Eric says he would feel pretty tame just turning up in a suit if they are covered in sporrans with a claymore down each sock.’
I laughed. ‘I think he means a skene dhu. A claymore is a battle sword. And there is plenty of time to sort tartan out. The wedding isn’t until next year.’
Felicity’s father, Hamish, and her brothers Fraser and Angus were built like highland outhouses thanks to generations of MacLeods taking bracing walks across the glen and lots of porridge. They would look very dashing in full Scottish dress with their red hair – and in Fraser’s case, beard – tamed for the occasion. Whereas Eric, with his spindly legs and hunched posture thanks to his years as an orthodontist, probably wouldn’t.
‘So, getting back to the subject, promise to come with me. We’ll have some laughs and a lot of fun. And don’t go looking for excuses at the last minute. I never did get you to commit to coming to London with me. And you know all about life on board a cruise ship. It would be like having my personal tour guide with me.’
‘It’s been a long time since I did anything like that,’ she said sounding worried again.
‘Oh, come on! It’ll be absolutely marvellous. Get your glad rags out, pack a bag full of all your twinkliest frocks and make sure your passport is up to date, because before you know it, we will be sailing away on a sea of champagne. I’ve seen the Jane McDonald programmes. But then when she did that programme about solo cruising, she can’t have been on her own. There must have been a camera crew there with her. Which is cheating.’
‘I wish I had her confidence. I’ve been on so many cruises over the years, but now Casper’s gone, I’m afraid it wouldn’t be the same.’
I tutted. ‘No, of course it won’t be the same. But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t still be fun. And I have been longing for us to go on a girls’ trip together. For us to have a few laughs. The last time we did was your hen weekend before you married Casper. And that was only to Bristol. Oooh, actually I’ve got another load of emails coming in. I bet it’s about the cruise. I’ll call you back.’
I rang off and looked out of the window in time to see a grey squirrel fall off the net of peanuts I’d hung up the previous day.
‘Serve you right, you little blighter. Clear off! Those aren’t for you,’ I shouted at him.
It was the squirrel with the lop-sided ears and the tuft on the end of its tail. How pathetic that I was beginning to identify individual squirrels. I’d be giving them names next.
I went back to my laptop and opened my emails from Radio Wonderful. Having skim read them I forwarded them all to Diana. Then I clicked on some of the helpful links which took me to the Voyage Première cruise line website and not for the first time wondered how this sort of thing was possible before the internet was invented.
It was terrifically exciting with photos of attractive couples smiling everywhere with their perfect teeth. Admiring their food, joining in with dance classes, drinking cocktails in front of a gorgeous sunset, before heading off for some sparkling entertainment in the Ocean Spray theatre, and after that probably some marvellous sex in one of the luxuriously appointed suites.
There was one picture of a lone woman who presumably was supposed to represent the single traveller. Even she was attractive and glossy with a perfect silver bob, as she looked out over the sea with a little smile on her lips and a cocktail glass in her hand. I bet she wasn’t wondering if she had remembered to put the right bins out, as I would have been.
‘A new cruise ship for a new age,’ it said. Designed for unparalleled comfort, safety and excitement, the Avanti was timeless yet modern. Spacious yet intimate. Elegant yet relaxing. Stylish yet familiar. It promised to be all things to all travellers. It was probably also big but small. Fast but slow.
It didn’t mention anything about norovirus or flooding, so perhaps those had indeed been teething troubles which had now been fixed.
The Avanti also had the distinctive red, white, and blue funnels of the Voyage Première cruise line, state of the art stabilisers (which made me imagine some huge wheels, sticking out on either side of the ship), and sleek lines, which looking at the pictures of the buffet, was a term which would probably not be applied to me and my sister when we left the ship after ten days being greedy and undisciplined. Perhaps I should go on a pre-cruise diet.
I scrolled thought some of the cruises on offer and clicked on a link to the one I had won. Southampton to Athens, calling in at some very exciting places.
Then, as I still had a few tea towels to do, I switched the grimacing, brave detective on again, and marvelled as he dodged bullets, hid behind abandoned machinery, and eventually dispatched another cartel leader with an extra special snarl. I think he was definitely dead that time. Marvellous.
I put away the ironing board, left the washing basket at the bottom of the stairs in case Eddy might deign to take it upstairs, and rang Diana again.
‘I’ve been reading the emails you sent me, and it does sound tremendous,’ she said, ‘and I’ve been googling the Avanti. It’s the newest ship on the Voyage Première line. The same one Casper worked for. We went on so many of their ships when he was working his way up. The Tosca, the Atlantica, Then the Pacifica and of course the Pirandello.’
‘But… there’s just one thing.’
Diana’s anxiety was instant. ‘What’s the problem? I knew there would be something. Are we sleeping in hammocks in the bilges?’
‘No, not at all. The thing is, I think the cruise line were expecting the winners to be younger than we are. Which is why they offered the prize to Radio Wonderful in the first place. They were a bit surprised that a couple of old gals like us will be going. I think they were expecting to attract younger people. Fiona the Fixer rang me again to make sure the emails had arrived, and she asked if I was happy to be going in the sort of sad, sympathetic voice that was hoping I would say no. I said yes, of course. I think for two pins she would have asked if I had some children who would like to go instead of us. But then of course that would have been ageist of her, so she didn’t dare.’
‘So do you? Have someone younger who would like to go with you?’
I tutted with exasperation. ‘Of course I don’t. You’re my sister and my best friend, and heaven knows you deserve a treat. So do I. It’s ages since we did anything exciting together. Wouldn’t you like an adventure?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe. But… only if you are absolutely sure Eddy doesn’t want to go?’
I sighed. ‘Eddy has already gone down to the builders’ merchants to do some research, and has been drooling over the Screwfix brochure. You wouldn’t think an adult male could get so excited about weed proof membrane and sand, would you?’
‘Each to their own.’
