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‘Now Grapevine. This is just one foot behind the other, moving sideways. Right foot, cross step. No, right foot.’
There were minor collisions and a couple of yelps as I Love Cats woman cannoned repeatedly into her neighbours, but Shelley sorted it out again and before long we were moving smoothly in step with each other.
‘Now the last thing, Grapevine back and a quarter-turn to the left, then kick and toe touch.’
This led to a lot of people bashing into each other, the lady in stilettos taking off her shoes and grumbling, and at least three people complaining about being kicked by the people behind them.
‘Yes, that’s lovely, just spread out a bit more,’ Shelley called, her smile as bright as ever. ‘Now, I’ll turn up the music and let’s start again.’
Twenty minutes later and the class was moving like a well-oiled machine. Well, a machine of sorts anyway. I Love Cats lady seemed to have an ongoing problem with right and left which made me wonder if she had needed to have letters drawn on her shoes as a child, but even she was getting it and she seemed to be enjoying herself.
‘Two heels forward, two heels back, now one forward, one back. Step heel, step and touch!’ Shelley shouted.
We scuffed our heels and stamped and some of the more experienced cowboys amongst us clapped and yee-hawed.
‘Grapevine and take a quarter-turn and face the windows.’
‘I see your friend is back,’ I puffed as we took a quick break for much needed sips of water.
I nodded towards the stage where I could see Raphaël half hidden behind a curtain, snapping away. He caught my eye and gave me a little wave.
‘Oh God, how long has he been there? What must we look like?’ Diana panted back.
‘The rootinest tootinest cowgirls on the ship,’ I said.
‘A pair of heifers anyway.’
I looked back and he had gone. Well, he was sneaky. I’d have to keep a better watch in future.
By then, some of our fellow cowpokes were discussing where to go for dinner, and Dorothy and her husband were squabbling about whether to try the Asian restaurant or the Italian pasta house.
The I Love Cats woman was sitting at the side, fanning her face with her hands.
‘My little Iggy would be good at this, Lee, I bet,’ she said to her companion. ‘He never falls over his paws.’
‘But he’d never get cowboy boots to fit,’ Lee replied with a grimace.
‘I wonder if you can get them?’ Cat woman mused thoughtfully.
‘Right, let’s do it all one last time, and this time I bet no one will get muddled,’ Shelley bellowed over the noise of everyone chattering.
We straightened back into our lines and the music came on again.
To be fair we did quite well despite there being a short, animated disagreement from a couple who still clapped in the wrong place and at the end Shelley was beaming with pleasure.
‘There you are, everyone, I said this would be fun,’ she said, taking off her Stetson. ‘I look forward to seeing you all this evening here in the Seabreeze ballroom. Ray Russell and his Ragtime Swingers are going to be playing some country music which will be just the ticket. You will amaze everyone!’
‘Can I have a drink now?’ Derek said behind me.
Dorothy tutted. ‘Well come on then, but don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that.’
‘Alright, I won’t tell you,’ he replied with a chuckle.
‘Oh, you!’
I watched them go, arm in arm, despite the fact that they were gently bickering. They at least had each other. It was little moments like that that made me feel slightly sad for Diana, being on her own. And at the same time, I realised how lucky I was to still have Eddy, who was the easiest man in the world to live with when I thought about it. Despite his inability to do the most basic of household chores or put the loo seat down. I got quite sentimental about him for a moment, which is not something I had felt for a long time.
‘Right then, let’s go and see our new cabin,’ I said.
