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It came as a surprise to no one when, after my parents divorced, Papa adopted me. To this day, I still had weekly therapy sessions to work through the trauma of my parents abandoning me. That was no exaggeration. They divorced, went their separate ways, and literally forgot to make plans for me. I was left with my nanny, who reached out to Papa on my behalf, and he came to get me. It took my mother six weeks of traveling to think about me and reach out. And my father? Six months. By then, I’d settled into a new normal with Papa, and they agreed to him adopting me.
At my big, grown age of thirty-four, one would think the sight of happy families wouldn’t be so bittersweet, but it was. I’d grown out of the stage of questioning why I wasn’t blessed with that and learned to be grateful for Papa, but it still hurt to see what I’d never have—who I felt I’d never be. My therapist would stress the importance of me healing so I could love and nurture my children properly, but I didn’t know if that was in my future. How could I be a good mother when I didn’t have one?
That was another reason I stayed away from men like Chandler. They often wanted their women to be stay-at-home moms who lost themselves in motherhood. I wanted to work. I needed to work. The fulfillment that came from a job well done gave me the validation I lacked in other areas of my life. That truth was why weekends were so hard for me. Though I often enjoyed myself or got some much-needed rest or time with Papa, I couldn’t wait to go back to work on Monday.
Speaking of Papa, I had overslept and was running late for our lunch date at his home. It didn’t help that I’d lost track of time while on FaceTime with Amy earlier. She wanted to make plans for later, and seeing her with her husband and babies put me in a mood. I was happy to see not only a woman in a healthy relationship, but a healthy family unit as well. However, that tiny voice in my gut made me question if that was something I’d never experience.
As I rushed out of my penthouse, I tried to shake those feelings and thoughts out of my head. If Papa knew what I was struggling with, he’d curse his son and the woman he chose to create me with. Papa had my back more than anyone else in this world. After what Daddy did to me, Papa cut him off. He removed him from the family business and forced him and Mama to fund their lifestyles some other way. I knew Daddy had started working for a Fortune 500 Company in New York, but I wasn’t sure about Mama. Last time I checked, she was on her third marriage to some old guy in Georgia.
Instead of scheduling a town car, I decided to drive my Maserati. As I drove, I listened to The Teskey Brothers. They’d been giving me an old school blues and soul vibe that I hadn’t heard or felt since my days of binging Stax artists. It took me about twenty-five minutes to make it to Papa’s mansion, and I hurried inside, giving Hosanna, his housekeeper, a quick hug in the hallway.
I scurried into the dining room, where Papa was already seated with a calm demeanor that was the complete opposite of mine. Without even bothering to look up, he said, “You’re cutting it pretty close, Belle.”
“Sorry, Papa. I overslept and lost track of time.”
Debra smiled and kissed my cheek, pausing from pouring Papa his afternoon tea.
“You wouldn’t risk being late if you moved back in here, or at least the guest house out back.”
My eyes rolled slightly as I grinned and sat down. True enough, Papa’s home was big enough for me to live here and have my own wing. The big house had ten bedrooms, and the guesthouse had four. I moved out when I turned thirty, craving more independence.
Papa took care of me financially, and that was something I’d probably never be able to stop him from doing until I was married… if that ever happened. The one time I tried by returning the funds, he had a tech guy hack my computer to pay the bills directly. I was furious, but that only lasted for a second before I laughed and thanked God I was blessed with someone who took providing for me and caring for me so seriously.
“I like where I live, Papa. Plus, it’s close to work.”
“No one should be forced to live in an apartment, especially someone with as much money as you do.”
Sighing, I thanked Debra silently as she poured me a cup of tea. This was a conversation we had probably twice a week.
“It’s a penthouse… that you bought me… without me even asking.”
Papa shrugged as the small wrinkles on the edges of his eyes crinkled slightly from his smirk. “I want my Belle to have the best.”
“Speaking of,” I started before taking a sip of my tea, “You know I’m a lover of learning, and I think I want to go back to school.”
“You collect degrees like people collect stamps. I love it. What would you like to go back for this time?”
“Well… this is gonna be completely left field from my other degrees… but art history.”
“Hmm…” He stroked his chin and bobbed his head once in my direction for me to continue.
“Technically, I don’t need a degree to get into art buying, but I want to expand my knowledge before I do. Chandler and I went to an art exhibit and auction about a year ago, and I encouraged him to bid on a piece from an up-and-coming artist. Turns out the bid was a good investment because a super popular socialite out in Miami has been propping him up. He sold out of all his pieces, and people are already looking for more to buy. The one Chandler has hasn’t even aged five years, and it can go for three times the price now, minimum.”
“Would you continue to work for him or go into art buying full time?”
“Probably both. I love working with Chandler.” I couldn’t stop the honeyed tone my voice had taken as I smiled.
“Is that all you love about him?”
“Yes, Papa. I told you, there’s nothing between us.”
“I know. I just find that to be suspicious. The way you look and sound when you talk about him… it always feels like more.”
I wouldn’t lie and deny my feelings for Chandler, but they were just feelings. Nothing tangible I’d ever act on. Last weekend was probably as close as I’d ever get to being in a relationship with him—a brief lie to a complete stranger. But that lie, in that moment, made my insides warm and soften in a way no other relationship ever had. It was crazy the hold this man had over my heart, but I could only pray I continued to do a good job at hiding it.
“I do admire him. He reminds me a lot of you, but he’s my boss, and that’s all he’ll ever be.”
His brows lifted as he nodded. “If you say so, Belle. Regarding school, I think that degree will suit you well. I love the pieces in your apartment and the ones you’ve picked out for me over the years. You’re right; you don’t need a degree to do what you do, because you have a great eye and great instincts, but getting that degree will open the door for other opportunities as well. You have my support, as always, and I will pay for you to go back, of course.”
