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Just as he pulled out the wedding announcement, he remembered. “Oh, duh,” he said. “Keith and Lindsay.” The two of them stood in the field, facing one another. They both wore smiles of complete love and joy as Keith had his head bent toward Lindsay, his eyes closed, and she beamed up at him with hers open.
Wow, Tag thought, the word not coming out of his mouth. That was what love looked like, and Tag’s throat closed in on itself. He wanted this picture in his life, but he wanted to be the one standing in the field with the woman he loved.
With Opal.
“You don’t love her,” he muttered to himself. They’d only been dating for a few months, and he wasn’t going to be the one to lose his heart this time. Even as he pulled back on his feelings, he felt them slipping further from him.
He turned to the fridge and put the wedding announcement up, glancing at the dates. Their wedding would happen in another month or so, and Tag already had it on his calendar. He wouldn’t miss it, because he wanted to witness that love and joy first-hand.
He wanted to call Opal and see her that night, but she’d left the farm already for an evening with Cord and Jane. When she wasn’t spending time with her family or tending to West, Opal had been meeting with her general contractor, subcontractors, and now, a new business consultant about what she needed to do to start a non-profit medical clinic in the state of Colorado.
All of it made Tag tired—and Opal busier than ever. He didn’t get to see her nearly as much as he had in the winter, and a vein of frustration sprouted and started to grow. He tamped it down again and again as he made himself a roast beef sandwich and tater tots for dinner.
By the time he sat down on his couch, with Boots next to him and Max curled at his feet, Tag had lost the battle against his loneliness. He wanted Opal here, and the TV was a poor substitute for the woman.
He thought of Valentine’s Day, and how stunningly magical their evening together had been. Her dress. That meal. Holding her in his arms. Kissing her goodnight until it felt like his lips were bruised.
It almost felt like that night had happened to someone else. “It’s been a month,” he said. “She won’t be busy like this forever. Calm down.”
He calmed enough to eat, but once he finished, he really had nothing interesting to hold his attention. He got up and rinsed his plate, set it in the dishwasher, and avoided looking at Keith and Lindsay’s obvious bliss.
“Come on, guys,” he said to the dogs. “Can’t stay in tonight.” He wasn’t sure why or how this mood had come over him, but he hoped the great outdoors would give him more space to think, better air to breathe, and a chance for his toxic feelings to dissipate and disappear.
He left through the back door instead of the front, and he walked along the tree line behind the cabins. Boots and Max trotted around, sniffing everything and marking their territory. Max barked once, his way of letting the world know he existed.
Tag smiled at the shepherd, surprised he hadn’t stayed at the farmhouse. But Gerty and Mike hadn’t been there either, and Tag decided to do a loop that went past the farmhouse, so he could drop off their dog on his way back.
The river bubbled about a half-mile away, and while Tag stepped in some muddy spots along the way, he didn’t mind the walk. The sun had gone behind the mountains, but it wasn’t quite dark yet, and he allowed himself to breathe fully.
“It’s okay to miss her,” he told himself, feeling that powerfully for a moment. “It’s also okay that she’s out there, doing what she wants to do.”
His phone rang, and Tag tugged it free of his pocket. Mike’s name sat there, and Tag swiped on the call. “Hey, Mikey.”
“Hey, Tag.” The man sounded generally upbeat, so nothing too wrong could be happening. “Listen, Gerty and I are at the Cinemax, and they’re having their annual buy-one-get-one ticket sale. She wondered if you wanted some tickets?”
“Sure,” Tag said. “Are they doing a year expiration again?”
“Uh…yeah. Yep.”
Tag could just hear the nod in Mike’s voice, and it made him smile. “A year.”
“Okay,” Tag said. “Get me six.”
“Six?” Mike asked, and Tag heard Gerty repeat it.
“Doesn’t seem like enough,” Gerty said, her voice quieter than Mike’s.
“It’s every other month,” Tag said. “I don’t get off the farm to the Cinemax that much as it is. I think that sounds generous.”
“Oh, six tickets gets him twelve tickets,” Gerty said.
Tag just let them talk for a moment, and he wondered why twelve tickets was somehow acceptable when six wasn’t. Did they think he’d be going alone once a month?
“Okay,” Mike said. “Thanks, Tag.”
“Yep.” He ended the call, and he didn’t even have the phone back in his pocket before it rang again. This time, his brother’s name sat there, and surprise filled Tag.
“Sawyer,” he said after he’d answered the call. “What’s up?”
