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“They divorced when I was eight. He moved to Chicago. We don’t talk. Mom kind of spies on him through social media. I guess he has a girlfriend now? She’s a model. And younger than me. So that’s not weird at all.”
“Have you met her? Or...would you want to?”
“Hell no. I don’t want anything to do with that asshole.”
There’s a small silence. I sip at my wine, giving a second for his strong emotion to blow away.
Josh puts down his utensils. “Sorry. That was uncalled-for. All you did was ask a question.” A tiny grin crinkles his mouth. “I guess I have daddy issues, huh?”
“Don’t worry about it. Honestly, how could you not?” Actually, I love how confidently he just owned his issues. “When’s the last time you talked to him?”
“He called on my tenth birthday. Oh, and he sent a card when I graduated from high school. No message, no gift. Just his initials inside the card.”
“He didn’t sign it Dad?”
“Nope.” He pops his lips on the p.
“Wow.” I reach across the table and cover Josh’s hand with mine. “I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
He smiles fast, too fast, like he’s used to putting a good face on it. “Yeah, everyone has their shit, you know? But what can you do? That’s life. And now, here I am with you, in this beautiful place, finishing a delicious dinner after a perfect day. I can’t complain.”
“That’s fair,” I laugh. “I love how positive you are. I mean—I admire that kind of strength.”
It’s the same strength I recognized in myself after the attack. Bouncing back after tragedy. Finding the silver lining. I promised him we’d have similarities, and I really hope he’s seeing this one as clearly as I am. See, Emma? Our connection isn’t shallow. We just needed time to discover its depth.
Josh shrugs my compliment off, but I can tell he’s pleased. “Tell me about your family,” he says, then catches himself. “Oh, right.” There’s a nervous patter in my heart as I wait for him to keep going. Of course now he’s landing on a major difference.
He laughs awkwardly. “I have this list of questions in my mind, you know? To ask all the girls. But... I guess you’re different, huh?”
“What questions? Out of curiosity?”
“You know. About past relationships. Like, dating history. You don’t have any. Family—you don’t have any. Childhood memories, college experience, career—”
“No baggage,” I say lightly, trying for a positive spin.
He nods slowly. “Yeah. No baggage. No fights about which parents to spend the holidays with.”
“No exes for you to worry about.”
“That’s a plus,” he jokes, pointing a fork at me. “I can actually be pretty jealous.”
I smile. “I think that’s cute.”
“I think you’re cute.” He grins. “What do you say we move this party to the hot tub?”
Disaster averted. We both worked to see the positive and overcame the hiccup. Another reason Josh is the right person for me, and me for him.
“I’d say yes, please.”
I peel my dress off poolside. Josh has his swim trunks on under his fancy clothes, and soon we’re casting our finery on a lounge chair, along with the mic packs that can’t get wet. Our clothes look good mingled together like that. Our shoes, too, the soft brown leather of his against the bright aqua of my strappy heels, tumbled together like they’ve just had the time of their lives. We hold hands as we approach the frothing water. I dip a toe in.
“That feels so good.”
We sink into the pool. The rush of heat is heavenly. I close my eyes and dip my head back to wet my hair. Then I go under all the way. When I come back up, Josh is studying me, like he’s wondering if he should make a move or not. I think he wants to.
“Is it weird to you that I’m inexperienced? With relationships?” I say, trying to interpret his hesitation.
“I don’t know,” he says, floating closer and knocking his knees against mine before pushing back. “I kind of like it. Being your first.”
