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“If you put it on him good, he’ll be thanking you instead of calling the police.”
“I’ll pass. You know I don’t do relationships. I’ve had more than my share of shitty ones.”
Nicky reclined in her chair, her eyes focused on me. “That’s your problem right there. Who said anything about a relationship? I’m talking about straight fucking, getting nasty, finally getting you a good orgasm.”
“Nicky, lower your voice,” Renee said. “Do you have to be so graphic up in here?”
Nicky threw a dismissive wave at Renee.
I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms over my chest. “What makes you think I’ve never had a good orgasm?”
“I’m talking about one induced by the actions of a flesh and blood man, not a mechanical device or your fingers. You and Benny were kids when you first got together, and I’m sure you were both virgins. He didn’t know what he was doing, was probably just pumping until he was done. I doubt you received any clitoral stimulation at all from him, and he was probably miles away from hitting your spot. I bet he couldn’t have found it even if he had the help of a turn-by-turn GPS navigational system.”
I just pursed my lips and grabbed a chip, bringing it to my mouth and taking a bite. There wasn’t any point in denying that she was correct in her assessment.
“And Khalil? Oh, he was a selfish lover. Anyone can look at him and tell he wasn’t about trying to please anyone but himself.”
I remained silent.
“Look, Ang, all I’m saying is, you’ve got to learn to look at men differently. You see a guy and instantly think relationship. How about just dating a guy? Going out and having some fun? Everything doesn’t have to be so serious.”
“Says the woman who sees every man as a potential husband,” Renee quipped.
Nicky rolled her eyes. “We’re supposed to be being nice and constructive. Remember?”
“You called my husband Satan,” Renee said.
“Okay, fine. My end game is finding a husband, but I still enjoy myself in the meantime, and I don’t try to force a relationship out of every encounter I have with a man.” She turned to me. “When was the last time you went out and had a good time, Angie?”
I shrugged.
“Never! You met those two butt cracks and instantly fell into a relationship. You’re attractive, successful, and sort of famous. You should be enjoying life, not—”
Nicky was cut off by a young lady who approached our table and asked to take a picture with me, screaming, “It’s 4C Angie!” so loudly, I was afraid we’d get kicked out of the place. As I stood from my seat and posed for our ussie, I couldn’t get Nicky’s words out of my head. Her crazy butt was actually making sense for once.
“See,” Nicky said once the three of us were alone at the table again. “You got too much going for yourself to stay up in that house watching YouTube all the time. You’ve gotta start living, sis.”
All I could say in response was, “Yeah, I know.”
Renee poked me. “So you’re actually taking advice from her?”
I gave her a sheepish look. “I can’t deny that I’m lonely, Nay. I’ve been avoiding relationships, but I think Nicky is right. I’ve been looking at things wrong. The problem is, I’ve been running from men for so long, I wouldn’t know where to start with this dating thing.”
“Start right next door with your fine tenant!” Nicky suggested.
I shook my head. “That’s business, and you know I don’t mess around like that when it comes to business.”
As the waitress placed our food before us, Nicky said, “All right, let me handle it for you. Be sure to go out and buy you a nice outfit. I’m gonna get you a date for Saturday night. I have just the guy in mind.”
“Please, none of your leftovers,” I said.
“Girl, I might be a ho’, but I have scruples. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Thank God,” Renee said.
*****
Nicky fixed me up with one of her professors, a thirty-six-year-old man named Dr. Harrison Fletcher who taught graphic design, a class she didn’t need for her degree but was taking basically because she felt like it. She sent me a picture she took during class in a text message informing me that he was going to give me a call that same night after our lunch. He was nice, a little on the quiet side, handsome (according to his picture), and eager to meet me. Nicky said she’d shown him a picture of me, so at least I knew he wasn’t expecting Nicky Strickland 2.0. My sister’s tiny body screamed sex toy while mine shouted grown woman.
