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Although there’s more work to be done, around eight that night I have to go home. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t keep pretending like the only thing I want to do is be at home with Aria. I call the car, say goodnight to the few people still working late, and head back through the city.
As I watch the houses flash by, I can’t help but think about how I don’t really know her, not yet at least. I feel like I know her, but I don’t really. I don’t know where she came from and even if her real name is Aria. I suspect it might be, but I’m only just guessing. She doesn’t seem like she’s very good at acting, as evidenced by her little slipups toward the end of our session, but I can’t be sure.
I decide that I’m going to play a different sort of game tonight. Maybe not exactly a game, more like something normal. Once the car pulls up, I head right inside.
Jenkins meets me in the kitchen. “Home early tonight, sir,” he says.
“Yes, I am. How’s Aria?”
“She’s well,” Jenkins says. “Wanted more movies today. And requested some skin lotion.”
I grin at that. “Send dinner up to her room. For both of us. Please.”
“Of course.” Jenkins turns and walks off.
My heart is beating fast and I realize that I’m excited like a little boy as I take the stairs two at a time. I quickly reach her door and stop just short of barging in, gathering myself. I have to get myself under control. I need to be calm and collected when I see her.
Control is what separates us from the animals. We can control ourselves, force ourselves to be calm and to do things we don’t necessarily want to do. I’m obsessed with control because it proves to me that I’m above the animals, that I’m greater than them.
Except sometimes, it feels so fucking good to lose myself. All of my worries, my troubles, they drop away and I can embrace the animal inside of me. That’s how I feel when I’m fucking, but when I’m playing these games, it’s a different sort of release.
I calm my heart rate and finally knock once before walking into her room.
Aria is sitting on the small couch, curled in a little ball, watching TV. She sits up as soon as I walk into the room and wipes her eyes. “Ethan,” she says.
I stop dead and blink, surprised. “Are you okay?” I ask, instantly concerned.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she says, laughing lightly.
“If there’s something wrong, I’ll fix it. If you don’t like our game, we’ll change it.” I take a step toward her.
She smiles and stands up. “Really Ethan, I’m fine. I was just watching... a movie.” She grabs the remote and turns off the TV.
“What movie?” I ask, taking a step toward her. I’m curious about what would make her cry.
“I don’t want to say.”
“Come on. You read trashy romances. What else can you have to hide?”
She laughs again. “Okay, fine. It was Love Actually.”
I grin at her. “Seriously?”
“It’s good, okay? Gets me every time.”
“You wimp.”
“I’m a big sap.” She laughs and sits down on the bed. “You’re here early,” she says, looking at me.
I sit down on the bed next to her. “I couldn’t stay at work.”
“Rough day?”
I shake my head. “I just kept thinking about you.”
She looks at me, and for a second I see genuine excitement in her eyes. But it quickly passes. “Really?” she asks.
“Really.” I reach out and put my hand on her leg. She’s wearing yoga pants and a white t-shirt, though her hair is done and she’s wearing makeup. I suspect this is her attempt at compromise. She wants to be herself, but she still needs to play her part. It’s good enough, at least for now.
“I was hoping you’d have dinner with me,” I say.
“Of course.”
“You didn’t eat yet?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve always been a late eater.”
“Me too.” There’s a knock at the door and I stand, heading over to it. Jenkins is outside with a meal cart. I give him a little thanks nod and take it from him, wheeling it back inside.
Aria goes to set the table up, but I wave her off. “This way,” I say. I walk over to the back of the room and pull back the curtain. I unlatch the window and pull it open, revealing the balcony.
She blinks, clearly surprised. “It’s gorgeous out here. I had no clue.”
“Good. It was meant to be a surprise.” I wheel the cart out onto the balcony and she follows.
There’s a small table, some chairs, and the view is amazing. It looks out across Old City, at all the historic buildings. The room-length curtains hid this from her view and apparently she didn’t explore her surroundings too much. That tells me a little something about her.
