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THIRTY-FIVE
My eyes open to sunlight streaming through the curtains and Luca’s curls in my face. I blow them out of my mouth and look down at him, sprawled on top of me as usual with his face pressed into my neck. But he’s sound asleep, so I need to take advantage of that and get up before he wakes. I can’t do more forced cuddles.
I manage to slide out from under his arm and leg without disturbing him, and he stays asleep as I quietly exit the bedroom and close the door behind me. As I make my way into the kitchen to make coffee, I rub a hand over my face and yawn. It’s 8:00 AM, and even though that’s sleeping in for me, I’m still feeling tired after the events of last night. And we’ll be headed to the gym later.
As the coffee brews, I stand in the kitchen and look out the window at the soft morning sky, letting my mind wander to last night. To Luca finally putting his parents in their place, the look on their faces when he didn’t back down from their attempts to once again silence him, the complete relief and joy I could feel in him all night…
The bedroom door suddenly opens, and I turn to look at Luca standing in the doorway in his yellow boxers and unicorn socks. His hair is a complete disaster and he’s squinting sleepily against the morning light.
“No,” he says, glaring at me through squinted eyes.
“No, what?” I ask.
“You’re supposed to cuddle me.”
I sigh. “Why?”
Luca tilts his head and scoffs. “Um, because you wrecked my ass last night, so I deserve to be held?”
I shake my head, looking at the coffee maker wishing it would hurry the hell up. “You enjoyed it.”
“Just because I like it rough, that doesn’t mean I don’t also need some tender moments.” He eyes me as he walks to the couch, then points at it. “Come on.”
I stare back at him, arms crossed. “You want me to just… hold you?”
He sighs dramatically and tips his head back. “Oh my god. How is this so hard for you to understand? It feels good.”
“It does?” I ask, slowly walking over to him. The coffee is still brewing, so the second that’s done, I’ll be ending this fucking cuddle bullshit. “Because all I get is your hair in my mouth and your hot breath on my neck.”
He smiles as I stop before him. “You’ll learn to love it.”
“I don’t think I will.”
He points to the couch, and I sit down with a sigh.
But he just stares at me, like he’s waiting for something.
“What?” I ask, getting annoyed.
“Lie the fuck down!” he says, waving his hands in the air for me to lie down. “For fuck’s sake, this is like teaching a new cat old tricks.”
With another sigh, I lie down and choose to ignore whatever the fuck he just tried to say. I don’t want to prolong this anymore than I have to.
He happily lies down beside me and nuzzles into my chest. Then he looks up at me. “Come on, Ty. You know what to do.”
As my arms wrap around him and I hold him against me, Luca finally falls silent. The only sounds in the room are from the coffee brewing in the kitchen, and he lets out a contented sigh.
My gaze drifts out the window again as we lie here, and I look at the clouds in the sky. I count them, study them, and watch them drift away as I wait for this to be over.
Except the longer we lie here, I realize it’s not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. It’s almost… nice.
Which is fucked.
I hear the coffee finish brewing and am happy for a reason to get up and end whatever this weird feeling is. But as I look down at Luca… he’s asleep.
I watch him for a moment, as he breathes deeply against my chest with his tattooed arm and leg draped over me, and my eyes land on the moon and stars tattoo. I trace each star with my eyes, until I reach out and do the same with my finger.
He stirs and looks up at me. “Hm?”
