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“What do you think, Tiger?” I ask, taking in the sparkle in his eye and the slight smile on his lips. “We going to have some fun?”
THIRTY
As I unlock Luca’s apartment and push the door open, I’m met with the smell of cookies. And as my eyes roam over the messy kitchen counters filled with baking ingredients, I sigh.
Here we fucking go again.
I close the door behind me, and Luca turns around in surprise. He wasn’t expecting me until later since I was going to go to my place first and grab more clothes. But I decided not to bother, since pretty much everything I wear regularly is already here.
His eyes dart from me to the mixing bowl before him, then back to me. “I can explain.”
“Wasn’t it just yesterday you were asking me if I was ready to have fun?” I toss my keys on the table and take in the pile of baked goods on the counter. He clearly started the second he got home from work.
Luca nods, turning back to mixing whatever he has in the bowl before him. “Yeah, and we will. I just need to get this out first.”
“I take it you finally heard from your parents?” I ask, crossing my arms and leaning against the counter beside him.
He measures salt into a spoon and pours it into the bowl. “Yup.” He then sighs and forcefully slams the salt on the counter, then reaches for a cookie and shoves it in his mouth. “My mom called,” he says with his mouth full. “And I was forced to answer because I have to,” he holds his fingers up in air quotes, “deal with it.”
I nod. “Yeah. You do.”
“Ugh.” He grabs another cookie and eats that too.
I stay quiet, waiting for him to get to the fucking point.
He grabs a spoon and starts stirring something in another bowl. “They’re going to be here this weekend for their conference. As in tomorrow. And I have to go to dinner with them so we can talk.” He scoffs. “At least it’s in a public place so things can’t get too nasty. But both of my sisters are coming, so that will help. And I’m excited to see them. But fuck, I don’t want to have to once again defend my choices and try so fucking hard to make them see that I am happy with what I have, and I don’t need anything more, or anything different.”
“Ok,” I say as he nudges me aside so he can get something from the cupboard I’m leaning against. “So, what’s your plan?”
He pulls a muffin tray from the cupboard and sets it on the counter, then looks at me with a small shrug. “I don’t know. What’s my plan?”
“I don’t fucking know,” I say, unsure why he thinks I would have any idea how to approach a difficult conversation with family.
“Well, I don’t fucking know either! You’re always the one with the plan!” He throws his hands up in the air, and frantically starts grabbing ingredients.
I watch him for a moment, taking in just how stressed he is over this. And the fact that he’s actually showing and vocalizing this stress, and not just trying to hide it or shrug it off is a win.
When we first came to St. Louis, his ability to do whatever he wants, have fun, and never take anything seriously pissed me off more than anything. I thought everything came easy for him. But now I see just how fucking hard he works, fighting a force every step of the way to stand up for himself and his right to be happy. While I don’t understand what it’s like to have a family and be loved by them, I can appreciate that he doesn’t want to lose what he has. He deserves both love and happiness.
And the fear of losing something you love is a feeling I know well.
“Just… chill the fuck out,” I say as I catch a measuring cup that gets bumped off the counter. “You’re going to tell them you accepted a job you love, and that you’ve been accepted into an elite MMA event. And that you’re going.”
Luca blows out a breath. “They’ll find a way to still push the private school on me. It won’t be enough to stop them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they put my fucking application in for me.”
I bite my lip in thought as I watch him drop dough into small balls on a cookie sheet. “It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, right?”
He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You want my parents to punch me in the face?”
“No,” I sigh. “But you need to escape this hold they have on you. And you’re always going to open yourself up to a potential hit when you change the fight. Except once you sweep, you’re now on top. And then you control the fight.”
Luca’s eyes drop to the cut and bruise under my eye and nods. “I also need to find a release…”
I nod. “You want them to change their perspectives on your choices, so change it for them. Right now, their only perspective is the back of your fucking head as they keep you in a tight rear naked choke and ignore everything you have to say. So, get out of it and face them. Show them how this fight is going to go.”
Luca is quiet for a moment as he just stares back at me, his eyes softening slightly.
“Are they really going to stop loving you for going after your dreams?”
