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Our deep breaths are the only sound in the empty gym as I hold his gaze, and I feel the energy shift between us.
Luca nods, blowing out a breath as he turns to leave the gym. “Come on, then.”
“Where?” I ask, watching him slip between the ropes.
He looks back at me with a soft smirk. “You know where.”
TWENTY
It’s a beautiful, clear night and all the stars are out.
As we lie on the hood of my Jeep in our spot, I smile up at the moon and stars. Because how perfect is it that tonight is a last quarter moon. The one that represents a time of reflection and forgiveness, allowing a release of burdens for a new beginning.
And tonight, Ty certainly released.
We haven’t said anything since we got here, taking a moment to just look up to the sky. But as I keep my eyes on the moon, I break our silence.
“Tigers subdue and execute their prey by biting the jugular vein.”
Ty turns his head towards me, so I roll mine to look at him. “You came at my throat tonight.”
He nods, the moonlight illuminating his face so I can see the softness in his eyes. “You came at mine.”
I nod as well, regret from my words to him burrowing deeper. “Yeah.”
We hold each other’s gaze for a moment longer before we both turn back to the stars.
After another moment of silence, Ty sighs. “I do know I’ve been making progress. And I appreciate your help,” he says. “But the fear wasn’t just in the ring.”
I turn again to look at him, but he keeps his eyes up on the sky.
“I still feel like I’m nothing without MMA.” He then turns his head to me. “Or you.”
My brow furrows. “Did you think you were going to lose me?”
Ty nods slightly. “I needed to get better, so you didn’t have to take care of me anymore. So you wouldn’t leave, too.”
My heart sinks as I piece this all together. No one has ever taken care of him. Everyone who should have loved him, abandoned him. And now the regret I feel at bringing his lack of family into our fight is overwhelming.
“I didn’t just go for the vein,” I say. “I executed.”
Ty huffs a breath with a slight shake of his head, turning back to the stars. “No. It’s true. I don’t know what it’s like to have parents, so who am I to tell you what to do.”
I sigh and turn back to the stars as well. “It’s just so fucking complicated.”
“How?” Ty asks softly.
I think on this for a moment, unsure how to even make sense of it myself. “I don’t know. We don’t have a great relationship,” I say. “But at the same time, I love them. And they love me, and want the best for me. They just go about it in all the wrong ways and can’t listen. It’s not like everything is bad with them… but I don’t know how to find a balance between the good, and the intense pressure they put on me.” I blow out a breath and let my eyes travel to the moon again as my rambling thoughts actually start to make a bit of sense to me. “I guess, in a way, I worry that if I fight back too hard, I lose the love I do get from them, and risk affecting my relationship with my sisters.” I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and shake my head. “I guess fear got its hooks in me too.”
Ty remains quiet as he lets me work through these thoughts, and everything becomes a bit clearer.
“My dad’s text just sent me over the edge tonight. I was really hoping they would change their perspective on my choices when I came out here, and see just how serious I am about MMA, since words don’t seem to do it. But they just seem to be trying even harder to force me into an ideal reflection of them.” Another sigh escapes me. “And the more they try, the more I feel like a complete failure in their eyes.” I turn my head towards Ty, and he does the same. “I guess we’ve both been struggling with that feeling.”
He nods. “I guess so.”
A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You’re quoting Rocky?”
