Page 56 of Choke Hold


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“So…” Elijah glances around nervously. “We’re all stuck on weights today, eh?” He smiles awkwardly, clearly trying to break the tension Luca and I brought into the room.

“Yup,” Seb says, working through some shoulder presses. “But this is my last set. Then I’m going home to bed. Max has me and Adão in the cage tomorrow, gotta be well rested.”

My eyes snap to him in the mirror as panic hits me like a fucking truck. Max just told me we’d be getting in the cage soon, but hearing that Seb and Adão are sparring tomorrow makes it so… real. I should be doing that too. I should be planning my week around specific goals for this fight and targeting those in sparring, not doing simple fucking drills over and over again to build confidence in something I am fucking meant to do. In the one thing I fucking live for.

My eyes once again find Luca as he silently completes his reverse lunges, and his gaze briefly flicks towards me.

Now he’s really fucking pissing me off.

He’s not even going to talk to anyone? I understand that his parents are getting to him, and it’s a lot to deal with. But if he won’t let me help him, he at least needs to help himself. Instead, he’s apparently going to do a complete one-eighty and just shut down. And as much as I don’t want to admit it… right now, I need him. His stupid fucking jokes are annoying but he’s the only one that can get me out of my head. And without him… I’m getting deeper and deeper.

I try my hardest to zone out and ignore Rosa, Elijah, and Seb as they wrap up their workouts and talk about their training this week. But I can’t. As I listen to them talk about everything I can’t do, the panic and anger grows until I can hardly fucking stand it anymore.

I toss my weights on the rack a little too forcefully and rub a hand over my face with a sigh, feeling ready to fucking explode.

“Sorry, Ty,” Elijah says, and I turn to face him. He looks guilty and apologetic, and Rosa is watching me with concern.

Fuck. Now I’m taking everyone else down with me.

“No.” I shake my head, blowing out a breath. “I’m just… my progress is too slow, and I’m frustrated with myself. Not you.”

Luca finally turns towards us, his eyes finding mine with an incredulous look on his face.

“I can’t imagine how hard it is,” Elijah says. “But we didn’t mean to–”

“No.” Luca holds a hand up to stop Elijah, while staring directly at me. “Don’t apologize to him when he’s being a grumpy asshole and can’t admit he’s actually making progress.”

My eyebrows lift in surprise. “I’m being the grumpy asshole?” I gesture to him with a scoff. “You haven’t said a fucking word since you came in here because you can’t deal with your shit. As usual, you’re not taking anything seriously and now it’s blowing up in your face. At least I’m fucking trying.”

“Right, but it’s never fucking good enough, is it?” Luca asks, stepping closer. “You think I can’t deal with my shit? Look in the fucking mirror.”

“Ok.” Rosa steps into the space between Luca and I, putting her hands up. “I get it, it’s a difficult time. But come on, guys, don’t add to each other’s stress.”

I stare back at Luca as his eyes drop from mine and he sighs. Defeat seems to join his frustration, and sadness creeps in to join mine.

“It’s fine,” I mutter, turning away from Rosa and Luca to grab another set of weights from the rack.

“Do you want us to stay?” Seb asks, cautiously watching us as he hesitantly picks up his water bottle and phone from the bench. “I can chill out here for a bit longer.”

“No, it’s alright,” Luca says, heading back to his area. But he looks back at me before he picks up his weights. “I can love and hate this fucker at the same time.”

I huff out a breath as I lean over the workout bench and start in on my rows.

“Ok…” Elijah says uneasily. “Well… don’t stay too long.”

Rosa nods, grabbing her stuff as well. “Do something fun tonight. You both deserve it.”

I give them a little nod to hopefully ease their fear of leaving Luca and I here alone, and Rosa gives me a soft smile.

“Have a good night,” Luca says, smiling at them as they leave. But once they’re gone, his smile falls.

As we finish our workout in complete silence, I try my hardest to ignore my frustration and Luca’s attitude. Rosa is right. Tension is high, and it’s not going to do either of us any good if we let it get to us. We shouldn’t be at each other’s throats like this, even if we’re apparently pissing each other off.

But when I’m on my last cooldown stretch and Luca grabs his towel and water, I can’t ignore it anymore. Because he’s heading straight for the locker room.

Oh, fuck no.

I quickly follow him, stopping in the middle of the now empty gym. “Where the fuck are you going?”

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