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I look over my shoulder towards Luca as he sings along, terribly, to a song playing in his earbuds. He’s doing some kind of weird dance, holding his hands up in front of him and then pointing over his shoulder with his thumbs. His music is so fucking loud in his earbuds, even I can hear it.
With a roll of my eyes, I turn back to the weight rack. But my eyes linger on Max’s closed office door. And those thoughts start swirling again. He’s on the phone, right now, finding out who we are fighting in Dallas. And while we are all anxiously waiting for him to let us know, I think I’m more anxious than anyone.
And I don’t get it.
Luca and I did more body sparring yesterday, after grappling with him the day before. It felt good, and there were times I thought I could have effectively blocked a head shot. But something stopped me from asking him to do that. I know I’ve made progress… but it’s fucking frustrating. I feel weak. I shouldn’t be this scared over something I have been doing for ten years, and something I am made to do.
As I finally tear my eyes away from Max’s door, I let out a large sigh. Regardless, I need to know who I’ll be facing. I need to prepare as best I can, especially now that I’m in this fucked up state of anxiety, fear and uncertainty. But once I can dive deep into my opponent, know his fight style, strengths, and weaknesses, I can train with purpose and focus my head. I just need to–
“Dude, chill.”
Luca is standing beside me at the weight rack, one eyebrow cocked as he watches me.
I ignore him, pulling my weights off the rack and backing up so I can start my curls.
But he continues to watch me, and a sly smirk slides onto his lips. “Aw. This is fun. I now have a front-row seat to see just how antsy you were when waiting to find out you were fighting me.”
I scoff, starting in on my reps. “More like disappointed about an easy fight.”
Luca rolls his eyes. “Right. Is that why our records were basically identical? And oh, wait… also why we are both here?”
I shoot him a look as I continue my reps, biting my tongue on the argument that I won our last fight. No sense in opening all that up again.
But he just continues to smirk at me, stepping closer. My gaze shifts over his shoulder to the mirror on the wall as I try my best to ignore him. Which is difficult as he moves into my space and brings his lips to my neck, running his tongue up to my ear.
“I know how to get you to relax,” he murmurs.
As his hand cups my cock over my shorts, I pause my movements and exhale. My eyes meet his, then drop to his mouth as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Uh, I’m right here.”
Luca turns to look at Elijah with a laugh as I lift my weight to his chest to push him away from me.
“Sorry, Elijah,” Luca says as he rubs his chest. “But when the urge rises, and it’s right there…” He looks down at my dick and lifts his eyebrows.
Elijah chuckles from his seat on the workout bench, and I roll my eyes at Luca before returning to my reps. As they start talking, I tune them out and take one more quick glance at Max’s door. How much longer is this going to take?
To keep from crawling out of my skin with anticipation, I bring my focus back to my task, counting the remaining few reps of this round. Six, seven, eight…
“Ty?”
My eyes find Elijah as he looks up at me from the bench, waiting.
“What?” I ask, glancing between him and Luca.
“We’re going to head to dinner at a pub down the road, after we meet with Max. You guys in?” Elijah asks with a smile.
I lift my gaze to Luca behind him as he smirks and crosses his arms.
My grip tightens on the weight in my hand as I stare back at him. Obviously he wants to go, but he’s playing his stupid game and getting me to climb the fucking stairs or whatever. He wants me to make this decision, and for me to say yes. And just for that, I should say no.
But as I turn my attention back to Elijah, and he looks up at me hopefully, I find that initial no I’ve always had for such invitations isn’t immediately rushing to the surface. The hesitation is still there, and those feelings of why bother… but there’s something keeping me from immediately backing out of this.
Luca chuckles, putting a hand on Elijah’s shoulder. “Yeah, we’re in,” he says, smiling widely at me. Then he holds up his fingers in a crawling motion, like they’re climbing stairs.
But before I can say or do anything, Max’s door opens. I watch as he walks into the gym, waving to everyone to join him.
As I put my weights back, my heart thunders and I curse to myself. I’ve never felt like this with anything MMA related. This feeling of… I don’t even know what. Unknown? And to feel like this over something as simple as finding out who I’ll be fighting is just fucked. Granted, my opponent has mostly been Luca up until this point, and he brought on feelings of anger more than anything else, but still.
