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“You are in this moment, in this fight. I know you are thinking about what we could be doing, so fucking stop it.” He keeps his gloves up, stepping sideways slightly, and I follow him.
“There’s nothing fucking wrong with thinking about what I would do in an actual fight,” I say, the need to punch his face growing at an alarming rate.
“Oh?” He tilts his head slightly and suddenly rushes into me, laying a few lethal hits to my body, and all I can do is scramble to defend and try not to give him the satisfaction of showing how brutal his hits to the ribs are. I manage to get him up against the ropes as I push him back, but he quickly ducks under my arm and corners me.
“And how did we get here then, Ty? Doesn’t seem like you were very in the moment.” He shakes his head with a tsk.
Every muscle in my body tenses as I fight the urge to take this fucker straight to the ground and show him just how in the moment I can be. “Fuck you, Mitchell.”
Luca just smiles. “Later. For now, those feet need to get moving.” He taps his gloves together again, bouncing on his toes as he backs up, giving me space to move into him. He opens his arms wide with a wicked grin. “Come and get me, Tiger.”
The anger continues to bubble as I watch him smile and hop around, and the irony of him telling me to be in the moment while he can’t even be serious about this is not lost on me.
So I let that anger fuel me.
This time when I step into him, I come in with a stream of combos, immediately taking the edge and dominating him. And as we move around the ring, hitting and blocking, it feels effortless. He’s fast and nimble as usual, but I manage to stay on top of him and take back the control I crave after he takes it from me. I let myself get completely lost in this feeling, as comfort and familiarity finally settles. And when we finally drop the gloves, with throbbing ribs and arms, I feel like I’m finally on my way home.
“Looking good.”
We both turn to the side of the ring, where Max is leaning against the ropes watching us.
“Hey,” Luca says, pulling a glove off. “Didn’t see you come in.”
Max chuckles and gestures with his head towards the locker room. “Rosa, Seb and Noah are here too. You guys were in the zone, so we left you to it.”
I nod, pulling a glove off and running my fingers through my damp hair. I’ll never admit it to him, because I’ll never hear the end of it, but I guess Luca really did get me in the moment.
“So, body sparring, huh?” Max asks, his eyes sliding to me.
A laugh sounds from the locker room, and I look over Max’s shoulder as Rosa, Seb and Noah exit and make their way towards us. I keep my eyes on them, avoiding Max’s gaze as I just nod. “Yeah.”
I can feel him watching me as the others approach the ring, and I hate that I’m keeping this from him. I don’t want to lie to him… but I think I’m realizing this fear is running deeper than I thought. It’s not just another hit to the head. It’s the fear that I won’t be ready for the next fight. Or even the one after that. And at what point will Max replace me on this team if I can’t perform at the level he expects of me?
“Hey, guys.” Rosa smiles at us as she leans against the ropes next to Max. “You’re here early. What are you working on?”
Luca shifts next to me, and I turn my head to look at him. He unwraps his hands as he tilts his head and softly raises his eyebrows. Leave it to this moment for him to finally keep his mouth shut. But I know why. He’s waiting for me to do what I need to do. And as I look into his eyes, I find the encouragement I need. I was honest with him, and because of that I was able to make progress today. And now I need to let everyone else in too.
I can still feel Max watching me, patiently waiting for my answer, so I drop my eyes to my gloves as I pull the other one off. “Body sparring,” I say, and take a deep breath. “I’m just… having a hard time getting back into head strikes.”
“Oh, buddy,” Seb says, drawing my attention to him as my heart thunders in anticipation. “Been there. Fuck, once I got my bell rung so bad I almost quit. And it was just in training. Had to be dragged back into the cage.”
Rosa nods with wide eyes. “I flinched at every punch for months after my first bad cut. Took me a while to come back from that.” She smiles warmly. “Considering what you’ve been through, I’d say you’re doing just fine.”
“She’s right,” Max says, and I finally look at him. He nods slightly, with a softness in his eyes. “You had a nasty injury, but it’s more than just taking another hit. It’s risking it all, every time you step into the cage. And after coming close to almost losing it all, that can really fuck with you. I’ve known many fighters who have called it quits after facing something similar, and fighters who try to push it all down deep and keep going without dealing with it. And neither of those are an option at Fairburn MMA.” He smiles, and a rush of relief flows through me. “And none of those fighters were Ty fucking Roscoe.”
“Got that right,” Seb nods with a wink, and I can’t help the small chuckle that bubbles to the surface.
“Anything you need, Ty, we’re here,” Noah says with a smile.
“Thanks,” I say, looking between Max, Seb, Rosa and Noah. As I take in their smiling faces, a small smile forms on my lips as well. I’ve only known them a few months, but since the day I met them they’ve only shown me care and support. And that’s something I’m slowly getting used to.
I slide my eyes to Luca, and he smiles. “Tigers fuck up d-holes.”
I huff out a laugh and nod. “Yeah.”
“The fuck?” Seb asks, his face twisting in confusion.
“Hm.” Luca nods knowingly at him. “I know. And this Tiger fucked me up last night, if you know what I mean, so excuse me while I go ice my ass.”
