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There’s no way.
My chest feels tight, and I have to work hard to draw in a breath. My heart races as I think through all the repercussions if I am pregnant, but then I tell myself to calm down. There’s only one way to find out, and there’s no sense freaking out until I know for sure.
An hour later, after buying a pregnancy test—not in downtown Willowbrook, but a neighboring town—and peeing on a stick, I know why I threw up this morning.
I’m pregnant.
And I have no idea how Jude will react to the fact that we’re going to have a baby.
My hand falls to my stomach. A baby. Something I always wished for, but I thought I’d be married. I mean, I am, but it’s not the same. We’re just getting started together, finding our way as a couple. We haven’t talked about what the next steps for us might be. And now I have to tell him he’s going to be a father.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jude
Sadie’s on the couch at five thirty when I return to the house. I want a date night with her, but today was a shit day, and I’d really prefer to curl up on the couch with her in my arms, but she deserves for me to pull out all the stops, bad day or not.
She has a dress on, her computer on her lap as usual. She smiles at me, but something feels off about it. It’s not the smile I’m used to getting lately.
“Hey, you look beautiful.” I step over and kiss her lips. She kisses me back, but she doesn’t put her hand on the back of head, keeping me in place for a few extra seconds, like she normally does. “I’m going to shower.”
“Okay.”
I walk up the stairs, a sour feeling in my stomach.
She was normal yesterday after Melody left. I’ll never look at my tractor without getting a hard-on again. But could Melody’s insistence that Sadie hasn’t lived out her dream be on her mind? Has she realized that she’s settling for a lesser life in Willowbrook with me? Maybe she’s thinking more about what she wants in the future.
I hate the fear that invades the minute she’s not my cheerful, happy girl. But I’ve always wanted Sadie to get out of this town. I always knew she was meant to be something bigger than a farmer’s wife.
I take my shower and get ready, putting on fresh jeans and a button-down shirt. I made us reservations at the fancy Italian place in Hickory. I’m not usually a pasta guy, but Sadie loves it, and it’s the fanciest place around here, which isn’t saying much.
I walk down the stairs, and Sadie’s still sitting in the same spot, her computer open, but she’s looking out the window at the lake.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
She doesn’t answer.
“Sadie.” I sit on the couch and put on my boots.
She blinks and smiles at me.
“You okay?”
She nods. “I’m good. Are you ready?” She puts her computer on the coffee table, closes it, and stands to put on her sandals.
I drag her into me with my arm around her waist. “Are you sure? You seem upset.”
Tell me, Sadie. I can take it.
“I’m perfect.” She kisses me. “Come on, I don’t want to be late.”
She leaves the house first, and I grab my wallet and keys off the table by the door. Unlike normal, she walks down the stairs to my truck without waiting for me. At least she stands by the passenger door. I open it for her and help her up into my truck. I head to the driver’s side, my mind a tornado whirling with all the reasons why Sadie could be so preoccupied right now.
When we pull into the parking lot, Sadie’s shoulders sink. “This is too nice, Jude.”
I squeeze her hand. “Nothing is too good for you.”
This time, I do get one of her smiles, which eases some of the discomfort in my chest.
