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He went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “I didn’t take your feelings into account at all when I showed up here asking for a second chance. I forced my way back into your life without listening to a word you said. I used my law degree like a club to get you to do what I wanted.” He leaned forward and took her hand. “There was only one thing I could think of that might help you forgive me.”
She clung to his hand. “I already forgave you, Hez.” This wasn’t going the way she’d anticipated. Misgivings stirred to life at his grave expression.
“I have the power to give you want you want. So I’m going to do just that, Savannah.” He picked up the envelope he’d placed on the table and handed it to her. “I’m giving you your freedom with these divorce papers. You can move on with Beckett, and I’ll stay out of the way. I’ll work on the investigation and keep it strictly business. All I want is for you to be happy, and I’ve realized that’s out of my power now. I blew my chance. Once the semester ends, I’ll be out of your hair. The pro bono case has been wrapped up, and there won’t be a reason for me to stay. In the meantime I’ll try my best not to run into you.”
“B-but . . .” She barely got the word out before he stood and strode to the door.
The door closing behind him felt so final. She stared at the envelope in her hands before she threw it to the floor. The hateful word divorce wasn’t something she could read right now. Marley whined and bumped her hand with his nose. She leaned down and buried her face in his comforting thick coat before letting the tears fall.
* * *
Savannah parked behind Nora’s white Nissan on the outskirts of Pelican Harbor. The security light pushed back the night’s shadows but did nothing to cast out the ones in Savannah’s heart. Her pulse jumped every time she looked at the manila envelope on the seat beside her. She still hadn’t opened it.
She got out of the car and approached Nora’s cute shotgun home. The door swung open before she could press the bell, and Nora, dressed in pink pajamas, stood in the doorway. “Savannah, get in here and tell me what’s happened. You can’t text me a ‘Help, I talked to Hez’ without more explanation. I’ve been dying waiting for you to get here.”
Savannah practically fell into her friend’s arms, where she sobbed while Nora made soothing noises and patted her back. “He’s divorcing me,” she managed to choke out before she got her tears in check.
“Come inside.” Nora led her into the living room where a diffuser wafted lavender oil into the room.
Savannah plopped onto the sofa and hugged herself until she stopped shaking. So many emotions swirled in her heart—fear that she’d lost Hez forever, relief it was over, and the pain of fresh rejection.
“Here.” Nora thrust a mug of tea into her hand. “It’s passionflower. It will calm you down.”
Savannah nodded and took a sip but tasted nothing. There was too much turmoil for her senses to work. Why hadn’t she had this reaction when she filed for divorce? Was this how Hez felt when he’d been served? Maybe it had been even worse for him. She hadn’t given him the courtesy of delivering the papers to him herself. At least he’d shown up to do the deed himself.
Nora sat beside her on the sofa. “Tell me.”
Savannah started at the beginning and went through every nuance of how her feelings had changed when he showed up. “I was floored when he handed me the papers.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. I was too shocked to say anything, and he was out the door before I could stop him.”
Nora took a sip of her tea. “Hmm,” was all she said.
“What’s that mean?”
“Just that your attitude took a major shift. Last time we talked you didn’t want to still love him.”
“I know, right?” Tea sloshed in the mug when Savannah set it down on the table. “I’m such an idiot. Everything I thought I wanted was a smoke screen to cover my feelings. I should have paid attention when he showed up that first day. I’ve always had such a visceral reaction to him. Even the day we met, I just knew. It’s probably why it took me so long to file for divorce. I thought it was what I should do, but I didn’t really want to.”
“So what comes next?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s right. There’s so much pain in our past. Can we ever get beyond it? He was so sincere, Nora. I saw the old Hez standing at the door tonight, and it all came rushing back in a big jumble of emotion. He was so sincere in his apology. The divorce papers were proof he wanted me to be happy.” Tears burned her eyes. “Why am I such a mess?” She stared at Nora. “You were shocked I filed. Was it because you knew I still loved Hez?”
Nora stared at her over the rim of her cup before she lowered it and set it carefully on the coffee table. “I was shocked because I had no idea you were even considering divorce. And only you know if you still love Hez, even if it’s taking you a little while to figure that out. I won’t tell you what I think you should do because I can’t make that decision for you. What do you want?”
A boulder formed in Savannah’s throat, and she swallowed it down. “I thought I knew before he gave me those papers. Now I’m so confused. Maybe it was a second chance to think it through.” She shivered and hugged herself again. “If I’d told him we could try again, I might have regretted it in the morning.”
She was already second-guessing her reaction to seeing him standing in the door to her house. The attraction between them had always been so powerful, and that much hadn’t changed. But was it enough to overcome Ella’s death? Him blindsiding her like this left the bad taste of distrust. He’d said she should have talked to him before she filed, so shouldn’t he have done the same thing? She’d had no idea he was thinking about this. Every time they’d been together, hope shone through his eyes.
The adrenaline coursing through her since Hez had shown up began to drain away, and she was so tired she could have lain on the sofa and gone to sleep.
Nora eyed her. “I think I’d better fix coffee while you figure out what you want before it’s too late.”
Too late.
The words shot straight to her heart like an arrow. Maybe it had been too late when she came home to flashing police car lights. How did they find the power to overcome it all? She’d clung to her faith and her hope of seeing Ella in heaven, but she hadn’t been able to muster the same faith about her marriage.
